A Place
in Time

SETTING: Howlin’ Harmonies Piano Lounge. Greenwich Village, NY. The show opens in 2024. They say there’s a place where the music finds you just when you need it most. Where a man named Benny plays the piano, and strangers become friends. They call it Howlin’ Harmonies… and this is their song.

AT RISE: Benny hammers out a tune at the piano, singing with a grin. Soon everyone’s belting out a song.

SING A SONG WITH BENNY

CROWD ONE

THERE’S A SPOT IN GREENWICH VILLAGE

WITH ENCHANTING MELODIES

FIND THE UNDERGROUND RYTHMN

DON’T NEED A BAND WHEN YOU HAVE BENNY

CROWD TWO

NO CRISIS TOO BIG HE CAN’T HANDLE

JUST WANDER DOWN AND HEAR THE SONG

HE WON’T JUDGE YOU AND SAY YOU’RE WRONG

LIFT YOUR VOICE AND SING ALONG

ENSEMBLE

WHERE DO YOU GO WHEN YOU’RE FEELING LONELY

WHO DO YOU TURN TO WHEN YOU’RE IN NEED

A PLACE THAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE FAMILY

SING A SONG WITH BENNY

WHERE DO YOU GO WHEN YOU’RE FEELING LONELY

WHO DO YOU TURN TO WHEN YOU’RE IN NEED

A PLACE THAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE FAMILY

SING A SONG WITH BENNY

BENNY

NOTHING FANCY IT’S JUST SIMPLE

COME AS YOU ARE DON’T BRING A LIE

DRINKS ARE CHEAP BUT NOT THE FEELING

FREE AS A SPIRIT IN THE SKY

PEPPER

WE FOUND THE ANSWER IN THE MUSIC

NOT SOME KARAOKE LOUNGE

WE LEFT THE PAIN ALL BEHIND US

WE’VE COME ALIVE TOGETHER NOW

ENSEMBLE

WHERE DO YOU GO WHEN YOU’RE FEELING LONELY

WHO DO YOU TURN TO WHEN YOU’RE IN NEED

A PLACE THAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE FAMILY

SING A SONG WITH BENNY

WHERE DO YOU GO WHEN YOU’RE FEELING LONELY

WHO DO YOU TURN TO WHEN YOU’RE IN NEED

A PLACE THAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE FAMILY

SING A SONG WITH BENNY

PEPPER (Spoken)

Yeah of course everyone loves Benny. What’s not to love about him? Well actually there’s a lot of things. But I feel like I know him better than he knows himself. And I think he really does love me too. But he gets so lost in that overly gifted mind of his and makes me feel that I’m just another groupie. But I know Benny. And I can’t help but love him.

ENSEMBLE and BENNY

A PLACE THAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE FAMILY

SING A SONG WITH BENNY

(Blackout)

SETTING: It is now 2018. A large banner is dropped showing the words “Falcons Class of 2018” in the senior lounge at the high school.

AT RISE: Benny is sitting alone talking to his schnauzer puppet, Potts.

BENNY

That was dismal. The class didn’t like our stupid report. Nobody could make that book interesting.

POTTS

Speak for yourself flesh face. I deserved a standing ovation.

BENNY

They probably would have liked it better if I just stayed in my seat and let you do the report.

(Two bullies approach Benny. One having a football in hand.)

BULLY ONE

Look at him, so pitiful. Do you think that kid is ever going to make any friends?

BULLY TWO

The only friend he’ll ever have is his stupid puppet.

POTTS

At least Benny has more brains in his hand than you have in your head.

BULLY TWO

Would you tell him to shut up.

BULLY ONE

And no girl is ever gonna to be into Puppet Boy.

BULLY TWO

Hey Puppet Boy, think fast.

(The bully fakes a throw with the football. The puppet fall off Benny’s hand and onto the table as he reaches out to catch.)

BULLY ONE

Whoa, look at that his puppet has quicker reflexes than he does. All you can do is play piano and talk to puppets. And face it, you’ll never letter in either one of those.

(A young girl hears the commotion and steps in)

PEPPER

You guys get lost. When he’s on America’s Got Talent, you’ll be sorry.

BULLY ONE

See you even need a girl to stick up for you.

(Two bullies exit.)

PEPPER

They’re the losers. Not you. You’re the one that can tear that piano up.

BENNY

I don’t know about that.

PEPPER

I heard you the other day playing and singing and you’re really good.

BENNY

Oh, well thanks. But I think they’re right, I’m not so good.

PEPPER

By the way, I’m Pepper.

BENNY

I’m Benny. The amazing puppet boy.

PEPPER

Right on. I’ve seen you around. You’re really entertaining.

BENNY

You think so?

PEPPER

I’ve learned not to pay attention to what people tell me. You’re the groovy one.

BENNY

I wish I could believe you.

(Austin approaches.)

PEPPER

Hey Austin come hang with us.

AUSTIN

Hi Pepper.

PEPPER

This is Austin. And this is Benny.

AUSTIN

I heard them being mean to you. They’re like that to me too.

PEPPER

Well that makes three of us, because I don’t go with the flow.

AUSTIN

I like how she acts. She’s a free spirit.

PEPPER

I don’t dig the stupid games that they play… where the popular girl wins just because she’s blonde and has the perfect figure.

AUSTIN

They call her a bohemian, but I think she’s the best. I think they’re just jealous.

BENNY

You look perfectly normal, why do they pick on you?

AUSTIN

I don’t like to talk about myself.

PEPPER

Can I tell him, Austin? He’s super gifted. He has a photographic memory and he’s a genius. They’re just jealous cuz he’s really smarter than everybody.

AUSTIN

But it makes my life complicated. Especially when I try to talk to girls.

PEPPER

You’ve got a gift. And so does Benny. He’s an a-mazing piano player.

AUSTIN

I heard him do his puppet for his book report today.

BENNY

That was pretty bad.

AUSTIN

No, I couldn’t believe it. The puppet came alive. It really seemed like you were talking to somebody.

POTTS

Well hello. I am somebody!

BENNY

Thanks, it can be a blessing but also a curse. Sometimes my head is so noisy and I can’t shut it up. I feel like I’m talking for two.

POTTS

And I’m the interesting one.

BENNY

Cool it Potts!

AUSTIN

That must be difficult. My mind is pretty busy too so I need a whole lot of structure.

PEPPER

My mind is pretty chill. And I don’t want to be bothered to have to think like everybody else. I do what I wanna do and think how I want to think. And I’m cool just the way I am.

BENNY

I wish I felt that sure about MYSELF.

AUSTIN

She’s pretty awesome. She’s one of the only friends that I have.

BENNY

I think if we stick together, something good might happen. It just might be a good year.

A GOOD YEAR

BENNY

I THINK IT’S GONNA BE A GOOD YEAR

NO, I KNOW IT’S GONNA BE A GREAT YEAR

POUR A CUP, HOP SKIP AND JUMP,

RAISE YOUR GLASS AND CHEER

PEPPER

I THINK IT’S GONNA BE A GOOD YEAR

NO, I KNOW IT’S GONNA BE A GREAT YEAR

NO SECOND GUESSING AND WONDERING

WHEN WILL I APPEAR

TOGETHER

THROUGH THE WIND AND THE RAIN

BLOWING BLUES AWAY

MA AIN’T FUSSING AND PAW AIN’T CUSSING

AND FEAR IS FOR YESTERDAY

BENNY, PEPPER, AND AUSTIN

BROTHER AND SISTER TAKE MY HAND

NOW I UNDERSTAND

ALL WE HAVE IS HERE TODAY

DIFFERENT COLORS IN THE SAND

COURAGE TO TAKE A STAND

THE BEAUTY OF LOVE IS THE ONLY WAY

BENNY AND PEPPER

I THINK IT’S GONNA BE A GOOD YEAR

NO, I KNOW IT’S GONNA BE A GREAT YEAR

NO SECOND GUESSING AND WONDERING WHEN WILL I APPEAR

BENNY, PEPPER, AND AUSTIN

THROUGH THE WIND AND THE RAIN

BLOWING BLUES AWAY

MA AIN’T FUSSING AND PAW AIN’T CUSSING

AND FEAR IS FOR YESTERDAY

BROTHER AND SISTER TAKE MY HAND

NOW I UNDERSTAND

ALL WE HAVE IS HERE TODAY

DIFFERENT COLORS IN THE SAND

COURAGE TO TAKE A STAND

THE BEAUTY OF LOVE IS THE ONLY WAY

PEPPER

DIFFERENT COLORS IN THE SAND

COURAGE TO TAKE A STAND

THE BEAUTY OF LOVE IS THE ONLY WAY

BENNY, PEPPER, AND AUSTIN

I THINK IT’S GONNA BE A GOOD YEAR

NO, I KNOW IT’S GONNA BE A GREAT YEAR

PEPPER

IT’S GONNA BE, IT’S GONNA BE A GREAT YEAR

PEPPER

Want to walk with us to class.

BENNY

Sounds good. Where ya headed?

PEPPER

We’ve got physics next. I stick with Austin in case I forget my textbook. He’s just about memorized the whole thing.

AUSTIN

Not the whole thing. The appendix on unit conversion factors is a real snoozer.

PEPPER

Where most people read people magazine for entertainment, he reads physics journals.

BENNY

Now I know who I want to study with.

(All exit / Blackout)

SETTING: The senior lounge, backstage at the high school talent show. It’s chaotic and smells like hairspray and nervous energy.

AT RISE: BENNY is on a crate stage right, fidgeting with POTTS, his scruffy dog puppet. Students mill around, tuning guitars and stretching.

BENNY

You think they’ll laugh? I mean, in a good way?

(Benny uses a high, confident voice for Potts)

POTTS

Are you kidding? They’re gonna love me. Who doesn’t love a dog with devastating charm and a tragic backstory? Also, could you wipe your hand? You’re sweating all over my felt.

BENNY

Sorry. I just wish they liked me half as much as they like you.

POTTS

Stick with me, kid. You’re my emotional support human. You’ll be a star by association.

BENNY

I don’t know, Potts. Maybe this whole thing is a mistake. Did you see the Rinaldi twins’ magic act? They pulled a live dove out of a Pringles can. How do I compete with that?

POTTS

Relax. That dove looked terrified. We’re comedy gold. I’m a vision of health. Now, any sign of your dad?

BENNY

No. And that’s a good thing. He’d probably heckle us from the back row. Drunk.

(AUSTIN approaches, weaving through the chaos.)

AUSTIN

Hey, man. You’re up soon.

POTTS

Speak of the talent-less. Here comes Austin. Too bad interpretive dance to the periodic table wasn’t a category.

AUSTIN

Real funny, Benny.

POTTS

The people want what they want, Austin. And tonight, they want a talking dog. I bet you wish you were as charismatic as I am.

AUSTIN

You’re creeping me out. Seriously, put him away….How you holding up, for real?

POTTS

He wishes Pepper was here. She gives much better pep talks. And doesn’t smell like a locker room.

BENNY

Pepper out there?

AUSTIN

Yeah, she’s saving us seats. Said she didn’t want to come back here and make you more nervous.

POTTS

What a gentleman. Making the lady guard the territory. Very chivalrous.

AUSTIN

Dude, shut him up.

BENNY

Sorry, Austin. He’s... on edge. I’m a mess right now.

AUSTIN

Your folks make it?

BENNY

My dad? No way.

AUSTIN

And your mom?

BENNY

She, uh... she left this on my pillow. I found it this morning.

(BENNY hands a folded letter to Austin. Austin unfolds it and reads, his voice quiet.)

AUSTIN

“Benny, I love you more than you’ll ever know. I have to get away for a while... to try to make sense of my life.”

(He looks up at Benny, his face full of concern.)

Dude...

(He continues reading.)

“I will probably miss your senior year... Please don’t think I’m leaving because of you. I just can’t cope with my life right now.”

(He lowers the letter.)

Oh, man, Benny. Are you okay?

BENNY

People are gonna think I’m insane, going on stage after getting a letter like that.

AUSTIN

Benny, you don’t have to do this. No one would blame you if you just went home. Comedy, right now? It seems impossible.

BENNY

It’s the only place I feel like I’m not gonna fall apart. It’s the only time I feel... happy.

STAGE MANAGER

(From off stage) Benny, you’re on in thirty! Let’s go!

AUSTIN

Okay. Okay. I don’t know if I’m supposed to say break a leg or not, but... I hope Potts rips his felt and gets a snag in his throat. (Pause) We’ll be cheering for you the loudest.

(Benny walks into the light of the performance area and sits at an old piano. He places POTTS on top.)

BENNY

This is my dog little, Potts.

POTTS

Who’re you calling little? Tell them the real story. Tell them who rescued who from that outhouse incident last summer.

BENNY

This is Potts, my rescue dog.

POTTS

Darn right. A purebred Schnauzer of indeterminate origin. Hello, ladies.

BENNY

He’s a dog with... an attitude.

POTTS

I wanna do something rugged this weekend. Man stuff.

BENNY

And I’m sure that doesn’t involve anything too strenuous?

POTTS

I’m talking camping. Real, gritty, man-versus-wild camping. I’m tired of being your arm candy at the park just so you can try to talk to girls.

BENNY

Okay, okay. Maybe we can try to talk to girls at the campground.

POTTS

Perfect. And this time, pack a whistle. For the outhouse. In case you get stuck again.

(Benny puts Potts aside, where he lies lifeless on the piano. Benny begins to play a simple, beautiful melody, and as he plays, he lets out a few sharp, well-timed barks, as if they’re coming from the puppet.)

ME AND MY SCHNAUZER

BENNY

TOOK MY SCHNAUZER TO FIND A DATE

AT CENTRAL PARK

HE IS MY BABE MAGNET

BUT TODAY HE’D ONLY BARK

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

HE SAVED ME ONCE AGAIN

FROM A HEARTACHE AT THE PARK

AT LEAST WE HAVE EACH OTHER

SO LET’S WATCH A MOVIE ON HALLMARK

EVERYDAY HAS UPS AND DOWNS

BUT MY SCHNAUZER MAKES MY DAY

IT’S A DAY TO BE HAPPY

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

IT’S A DAY TO BE GLAD

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

IT’S A DAY TO BE CHEERFUL

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

NOT A DAY TO BE MAD

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

IT’S A DAY TO BE OPTIMISTIC

IT’S A DAY TO HAVE FUN

CUZ WHEN I’M WITH MY SCHNAUZER

IT’S GONNA BE A GOOD ONE

EVERYDAY HAS UPS AND DOWNS

BUT MY SCHNAUZER MAKES MY DAY

IT’S A DAY TO BE HAPPY

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

IT’S A DAY TO BE GLAD

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

IT’S A DAY TO BE CHEERFUL

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

NOT A DAY TO BE MAD

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

IT’S A DAY TO BE OPTIMISTIC

IT’S A DAY TO HAVE FUN

CUZ WHEN I’M WITH MY SCHNAUZER

IT’S GONNA BE A GOOD ONE

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

(The song ends. The audience applauds enthusiastically. Back stage crew give a couple compliments.)

AUDIENCE MEMBER ONE

That was great, Benny!

AUDIENCE MEMBER TWO

We love you, Potts! My dog just eats drywall!

(Away from the crowds PEPPER and AUSTIN rush over to Benny.)

PEPPER

You were amazing! Seriously.

AUSTIN

Yeah, man, you killed it.

(They do a complicated, slightly clumsy handshake that ends with them just awkwardly patting each other on the back.)

(BENNY’S DAD, a grim-faced man, pushes through the crowd.)

PEPPER

We’re gonna grab some air before Austin’s rehearsal.

BENNY

If you’re gonna talk quantum physics, there’s no way.

AUSTIN

Yeah right.

PEPPER

You wanna come?

BENNY

I can’t. My dad’s here. I just saw him.

(Benny calls out, forcing a smile. Austin and Pepper leave.)

Dad! You came! Where were you?

DAD

I was in the hall. Came to pick you up.

BENNY

Oh. It was packed, I guess you couldn’t find a seat.

DAD

There were seats. My phone died, couldn’t text you I was here.

BENNY

People really liked the act, Dad.

DAD

Benny, for God’s sake. I hope you grow out of this. You look ridiculous, a boy your age playing with dolls. You think anyone is going to take you seriously? I’ve told you. You are never going to make a living playing with puppets.

BENNY

Well, people say I’m good at music, too.

DAD

You know how many kids are “good at music”? You know how many of them are working at a gas station?

BENNY

People think I could make it work. Here, sit down, this is the senior lounge. I just gotta grab my stuff.

DAD

(Sits down.) You’re just like your mother. Head in the clouds.

(Benny stops packing his bag, his back to his dad.)

BENNY

Have you heard from her?

DAD

That’s not how an adult behaves. Just walking out on her family.

BENNY

I know she’s been having a hard time. But I don’t get why she’d just leave. She didn’t even say goodbye.

DAD

She says she’s “depressed.” Everyone’s depressed. Sounds to me like an excuse for not controlling your emotions.

BENNY

When... when is she coming home?

DAD

Don’t hold your breath.

BENNY

Don’t you think it might be genetic? Her dad had a hard time of it too.

DAD

You better not start thinking you’ve got any of that nonsense in you. You’re just moody because you’re immature.

BENNY

Can I stay? And watch Austin’s rehearsal? I can get a ride.

DAD

Why are you always with that kid? All he does is dance. You should be hanging out with the guys from the team.

BENNY

He’s my best friend. And he’s the smartest kid in school. Dad, he’s got a full ride scholarship to NYU in physics.

DAD

That doesn’t impress me.

BENNY

He has a photographic memory and a 4.0.

DAD

He’s not gonna teach you how to throw a football. Besides, he’s...autistic, isn’t he?

BENNY

He’s on the spectrum, Dad. He’s high functioning.

DAD

Whatever he is, he’s not normal. You need normal friends. And that Pepper girl, she dresses like she’s on her way to Woodstock. Your mother, those two... you surround yourself with freaks.

BENNY

That’s not fair. Pepper’s dad is a lawyer. They’re all smart.

DAD

A lawyer? Figures. All crooked. (He groans as he stands.) Fine. Stay. Do what you want.

(He starts to exit just as AUSTIN and PEPPER walk back in. Benny’s DAD brushes past them without a word.)

BENNY

(To Austin and Pepper, in a low, urgent voice)Can one of you guys please give me a ride so I don’t have to go with him?

AUSTIN

Yeah, of course.

BENNY

I just need to grab my bag from his car before he peels out. Be right back.

(BENNY exits. Austin, trying to shake off the weird energy, turns to Pepper.)

AUSTIN

I am so grateful that Doctor Christoff…

PEPPER

You mean Uncle Chris.

AUSTIN

Sure, so thankful that he helped get me into the masters school of Physics at the U.

PEPPER

You would have been accepted even if he hadn’t put in a good word.

AUSTIN

He’s a great man of science. People really respect him for his work.

PEPPER

But I hear that people think his experiments with Time Travel are crazy.

AUSTIN

What do you think.

PEPPER

He’s always talked about it since I was a kid. I don’t think it’s ever gonna happen but if anyone could do it he could. What do you think.

AUSTIN

I think his work is compelling and I think his developments will aid future studies and someday, though not in our lifetime, it may happen.

PEPPER

I am very proud of my uncle.

AUSTIN

So. Wanna see the move that’s gonna change the world? Or at least get me a B+ in dance?

(He shows Pepper a few slick, complex dance moves. She tries to copy him and almost trips.)

PEPPER

Wow. Okay. How do you make your legs do that? Mine don’t bend that way.

AUSTIN

(Laughs)Practice. Here, try it slow.

(They do the move together slowly a few times.)

AUSTIN

Ready for full speed?

(They do the dance moves at tempo, without music just counting. Pepper is surprisingly good.)

PEPPER

Oh my god, that’s fun! You have such a cool style.

AUSTIN

You should’ve seen me as a kid. I had the coordination of a newborn deer. My parents signed me up for every dance class they could find. I think they were just hoping I’d eventually learn how to walk through a doorway without hitting the frame.

PEPPER

I can’t imagine you ever being uncoordinated.

AUSTIN

My parents never really got me. Their way of showing support has always been to just... write a check.

(They’re about to start dancing again when BENNY re-enters the lounge. He stops in the doorway, unseen, and watches them. He sees how easily they laugh together, and a flicker of envy crosses his face.)

PEPPER

Well, at least they support you somehow. I mean, imagine having Benny’s dad. Or his mom just… leaving.

AUSTIN

Yeah. Guess I shouldn’t complain. One more time?

PEPPER

Let’s do it!

(They dance again while counting. As they finish, laughing, Benny steps out of the shadows.)

PEPPER

Hey! How are you feeling after all that?

BENNY

Good, actually. Right up until my dad showed up and did his whole… thing.

PEPPER

Oh no. Was it bad?

BENNY

The usual. He’d been drinking. He’s just so mean, you know?

AUSTIN

I get it. My dad and I basically speak different languages.

PEPPER

Benny, with everything going on… your mom, and your dad being… him. We just want you to know you were incredible up there tonight.

AUSTIN

For real. We’ve only been hanging out for what, a few months? But you guys are my best friends.

BENNY

I just keep thinking how much better high school would’ve been if I’d met you guys freshman year.

AUSTIN

Truth. But hey, feels like we’ve known each other forever anyway.

PEPPER

And we’re stuck with each other now. So you better get used to it.

CELEBRATE FRIENDS

BENNY

GOOD FRIENDS ARE HARD TO FIND

LET’S STICK TOGETHER FOR A LIFETIME

WHERE I AM THERE’S ALWAYS YOU

WHERE YOU’RE GOING, I’LL GO THERE TOO

PEPPER

OPINIONS DON’T ALWAYS JIVE

BUT FRIENDSHIP CAN SURVIVE

YOU’RE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT THEY’VE GOT

AND FORGIVE THEM FOR WHAT THEY’RE NOT

BENNY, PEPPER, AND AUSTIN

CELEBRATE A GOOD TIME WITH FRIENDS

FUN DOESN’T GET ANY BETTER

FRIENDS CAN MAKE A STORMY DAY

FEEL LIKE DECENT WEATHER

CELEBRATE A GOOD TIME WITH FRIENDS

LUCKY TOGETHER ON A RIDE

ENJOYING A CUP OF COFFEE

IS BETTER WITH A FRIEND WHO’S ON YOUR SIDE

AUSTIN

THERE’S ALWAYS THE CHANCE

YOU WON’T GET ANOTHER TURN TO DANCE

FRIENDS ARE A TIMELESS TREASURE

KEEP DANCING THROUGH LIFE TOGETHER

PEPPER

WHEN IT’S TIME FOR ME TO GO

I DON’T NEED THE WORLD TO KNOW

AUSTIN

NOT POPULARITY ON EARTH

JUST A FEW FRIENDS TO KNOW MY WORTH

BENNY, PEPPER and AUSTIN

CELEBRATE A GOOD TIME WITH FRIENDS

FUN DOESN’T GET ANY BETTER

FRIENDS CAN MAKE A STORMY DAY

FEEL LIKE DECENT WEATHER

CELEBRATE A GOOD TIME WITH FRIENDS

LUCKY TOGETHER ON A RIDE

ENJOYING A CUP OF COFFEE

IS BETTER WITH A FRIEND WHO’S ON YOUR SIDE

CELEBRATE A GOOD TIME WITH FRIENDS

LUCKY TOGETHER ON A RIDE

ENJOYING A CUP OF COFFEE

IS BETTER WITH A FRIEND WHO’S ON YOUR SIDE

(They smile and give high fives.)

BENNY

Hey, you guys want to go get coffee or something? Since you’re driving, Austin, my treat.

AUSTIN

Let’s do it.

(They exit. Blackout.)

Setting: Back to 2024. The Howlin’ Harmonies Piano Lounge before it opens for the night.

At Rise: BENNY is wiping down the already spotless keys of his grand piano with a grim intensity. PEPPER walking in watches him, swirling the dregs of a coffee in a paper cup.

PEPPER

You know, if you polish those keys any harder, you're going to see a reflection of your own sad face. And nobody wants that.

BENNY

I just always figured by twenty-four, I’d at least have my own Wikipedia page. A short one. Even with a "citation needed" tag. Is that too much to ask?

PEPPER

We’ve only been out of high school for six years, dude. Most people our age are still figuring out how to separate their laundry. You're playing music every night in a place where people actually want to hear you. That's a win.

BENNY

But is it THE win? Or is it the consolation prize? I’m terrified this is it. Me, this piano, and a two-drink minimum for the rest of my life.

PEPPER

Hey, you're a rockstar. You could go as far as you want. Look at me. My greatest professional achievement this week was convincing a woman that a quartz crystal would not, in fact, improve her Wi-Fi signal. I make lattes and write poetry that could charitably be described as… passionate. But I'm happy. Mostly.

BENNY

Your poetry doesn't suck. It's great.

PEPPER

Yeah, well, try getting a room full of finance bros to snap their fingers for a sonnet about the evils of single-use plastics. You can’t exactly stand up here between sets and go, "And now, a spoken word piece!" They'd stone me with cocktail olives.

BENNY

Okay, fair. But this isn't a poetry slam. It's a piano lounge. Besides, I love that one— "I ain’t buyin’ it, I ain’t using it, I ain’t taking it home." That things is a diva mantra.

PEPPER

It’s how I feel!

BENNY

That’s why it’s good! It's real. We should turn it into a song. For real. All a song is, is a poem that’s too scared to be alone in the quiet. We could totally put a beat to "I ain’t buyin’ it, I ain’t using it, I ain’t taking it home."

PEPPER

(Smiling, but her tone shifts) Maybe. Hey… you been okay? For real.

BENNY

I hate it when I'm like this around you. It's like being a walking rain cloud. I don't want to get you wet. Metaphorically.

PEPPER

Dude, you’ve been running on rocket fuel for a month. All that energy, staying up all night writing… the tank's gotta run empty sometime. You're not a rain cloud, you're just… cycling.

BENNY

It feels like a light switch. One minute I'm on top of the world, the next someone hits the dimmer and everything just goes… gray.

PEPPER

After the high-octane hyper-drive comes the crash. I know it’s hard to see when you're in it. But I see it. I get you.

BENNY

Why can’t I just be normal like you?

PEPPER

Why can't I make a piano sound like anything other than a cat falling down a flight of stairs? We all got our things.

BENNY

Yeah, but my "things" tend to turn into a category five hurricane that gets me into… situations.

PEPPER

Okay, listen. And don't get mad. But you are reminding me so much of my Uncle Christoff right now.

BENNY

Austin says he’s his favorite professor at NYU.

PEPPER

Sure he’s brilliant and he’s a genius. But he can also ride sort of a roller coaster too with his emotions.

BENNY

He has so many talents. With being professor and Dean of the Science Department at NYU along with his brilliant magic act and his time travel infatuation, I don’t know how he does it.

PEPPER

I don’t either. I just wish he’d drop the Time Travel Experiment, that’s what’s been keeping him up all night.

BENNY

Do you think he really believes that he can build that time machine and make it work.

PEPPER

Yeah I really do think he believes he’s gonna do it.

BENNY

I just find it hard to accept how Austin has joined forces with him. They’re both believers.

PEPPER

But Austin doesn’t think its gonna happen in this lifetime.

BENNY

Our psyche can be a crazy thing sometimes. I bet the professor has had to weather some storms, but he’s found stability. Whereas my mom, something is really bugging her but I don’t know what it is. I worry about her all the time. Only god knows where she even is right now.

PEPPER

That's so much to carry. I’m so sorry.

BENNY

Life’s a cosmic joke. And I'm pretty sure I'm the punchline.

PEPPER

Stop that. That's your brain being a dick to you.

PEPPER

Maybe all this up and down stuff is part of your superpower. It's what makes you feel things so strongly, and why you can get up here and pour it all out on the keys and make people feel something deeply.

BENNY

(A small smile) Wow. Are you available to write my eulogy? Hey, do you think your uncle would like us to visit sometime soon?

PEPPER

Are you kidding? He loves you. Thinks you’re the next Billy Joel. I'll call him.

(Workers begin setting up tables and chairs around them with clatter while the manger speaks with irritation.)

MANAGER

Benny, you done talking with your little groupie? We got to get this place set for actual paying customers.

(A worker drops a stack of coasters with a loud clack.)

BENNY

Need a hand?

MANAGER

(Grumpy) Nah, we got it. Some of us have real jobs, actually work for a living.

BENNY

What's the crowd lookin' like tonight?

MANAGER

Hopefully better than last night's sad little gathering. Maybe play some Taylor Swift. People like that.

PEPPER

The people who show up are here to see him. Your paycheck is directly related to his applause. Besides, it’s voting day. People are emotionally exhausted.

BENNY

(Slings arm around pepper) Thanks for having my back.

PEPPER

Always. Did you? Vote, I mean.

BENNY

I did. Your thousand-text-message-reminder-campaign was very effective.

PEPPER

I just hope it does something. Feels like everyone's just screaming about power instead of trying to actually help people.

BENNY

You've been saying that since the day I met you.

PEPPER

Remember those jerks in high school? Pushing kids into lockers? They all grew up and ran for office, I swear to God.

BENNY

(Laughs) That explains so much. See, this is why I belong in Vaudeville.

PEPPER

You AND my Uncle Christoff talk about Vaudeville a lot. What’s all the intrigue.

BENNY

Think of it like… pre-internet TikTok. Back in the 20s, before TV, people went to see live shows and they shared the fun experience together. Jugglers, singers, comedians, dogs that could do math… it was just simple, goofy, honest entertainment. No agenda.

PEPPER

I get that. Sometimes I feel like I was supposed to be a hermit in the 1800s, churning my own butter and writing angry letters to the editor.

BENNY

Right? Everything now is so loud. They're always trying to sell you something.

PEPPER

Even if it's just their opinion.

BENNY

I ain’t buying it, I ain’t using it, I ain’t taking it home!

PEPPER

Do I hear a song coming on?

BENNY

I don’t know. You got me started. Let’s give it a try.

(Benny plays an ad lib chord on the piano. Pepper moves over by Benny at the piano. They sing an improvised song together with big smiles on their faces.)

I AIN’T BUYING IT

BENNY

I AIN’T BUYING IT. I AIN’T USING IT

I AIN’T TAKING IT HOME, NO, NO, NO”.

PEPPER

I AIN’T BUYING IT. I AIN’T USING IT

I AIN’T TAKING IT HOME, NO, NO, NO

TOGETHER

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO

BENNY

I AIN’T BUYING IT

(Laugh together)

BENNY

You should really sing with me up here one night.

PEPPER

Only if the goal is to clear the room in under three minutes. No thanks. Listen, I'm gonna go grab a burrito before my blood sugar totally tanks. You want anything?

BENNY

Nah, I'm good.

PEPPER

Alright. I gotta go help my roommate sage her ex-boyfriend's bad vibes out of our apartment anyway. It's a whole thing. Break a leg tonight.

(She gives him a quick, tight hug.)

BENNY

I’ll walk you out.

(They exit. Blackout)

Setting: A bed is rolled onto stage. Nothing else is moved.

At Rise: Tight spot on Austin alone in his bedroom on his bed with a pen and pad of paper writing a letter to Pepper. He is speaking as he is writing. The only light is a focused spotlight of him on his bed.

AUSTIN

Dear Pepper, I’ve got something to say to you but I don’t really know how to say it.

DEAR PEPPER

AUSTIN

I KNOW YOU LIKE BENNY

BUT THE ONE WHO LIKES YOU IS ME

YOU EXCEPT ME NOT BEING COOL

AND YOU KNOW I’M NOT A FOOL

A LITERAL POINT OF VIEW

LIKE A MAP THAT TELLS THE TRUTH

THEY SAY I’VE GOT A GIFTED MIND

HOPE IT DON’T GET ME IN TROUBLE THIS TIME

I KNOW BENNY’S THE LIFE OF THE PARTY

BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU IN THE END

LET ME PROVE I CAN BE

MUCH MORE THAN A FRIEND

CAN YOU LOOK AT ME

THE WAY I LOOK AT YOU?

BENNY DOESN'T LOVE YOU LIKE I DO

CAN YOU GIVE ME A CHANCE?

TO FINALLY LET MY FEELINGS SHOW

I’LL TREAT YOU BETTER YOU KNOW

WHEN YOU’RE WITH ME YOU’LL NEVER FEEL ALONE

CAN YOU LOOK AT ME

THE WAY I LOOK AT YOU?

BENNY DOESN'T LOVE YOU LIKE I DO

CAN YOU GIVE ME A CHANCE?

TO FINALLY LET MY FEELINGS SHOW

YOU’VE CHANGED MY LIFE WITH YOUR GLOW

WHEN YOU’RE WITH ME YOU’LL NEVER FEEL ALONE

AUSTIN

Love Austin. No, your friend Austin...I can’t send this.

(Blackout. Bed is rolled off stage.)

(Music plays, “Sing a Song With Benny” chorus)

Setting: Howlin’ Harmonies Piano Lounge, an hour before opening.

At Rise: BENNY is hunched over the piano, trying to wrestle a complicated jazz chord into submission. PEPPER enters, holding a greasy paper bag.

BENNY

If you're here for karaoke night, that's down the street. But if you want to audition for Howlin' Harmony's, you're next in line.

PEPPER

Do you take bribes? I've brought you a doughnut. The last maple bacon one. I fought a guy in a sensible sweater for it.

BENNY

Well, that'll definitely secure you a place on my stage. I didn't think you were actually going to show.

PEPPER

Of course I did. Said I would, didn't I? I have a gut feeling. Tonight's the night you finally nail that impossible bridge in "My Funny Valentine" and the crowd goes so wild they start throwing actual money instead of drink coasters.

BENNY

(Mashes the keys in frustration)

Yeah, well, tell that to this B-flat diminished. The thing's got a vendetta against me. You expect too much.

PEPPER

No, I don't. The people who come here? They love you. They're not listening for perfect chords, they're here to forget their miserable work days. You help them do that.

BENNY

How are you always so… sunshiny? Like a human golden retriever. Nothing ever seems to get to you. I wish I had a sliver of that.

(He reaches out, tracing a line down her arm with his fingers.)

BENNY

It’s like you’re Teflon-coated.

PEPPER

I wouldn't say that. I'm feeling a little… sticky right now.

(He leans in, she leans in. The kiss is about to happen, the world holds its breath, and then Benny jerks back like he's touched a hot stove.)

BENNY

Nope. Can't. I shouldn't have… I can't do this.

PEPPER

Okay, whiplash. What was that? Five seconds ago you were giving me a very intense palm reading.

BENNY

It’s just… you’re you. And I’m me. And I’ve got the show, and I’ve got… my process. And my process is a delicate, teetering Jenga tower of anxiety and sheet music. I can't just add a... a person. It's…emotional baggage.

PEPPER

(Stares at him, incredulous) Baggage? I brought you a donut. A premium donut! Five minutes ago I was a golden retriever, now I’m a Samsonite carry-on you can't fit in the overhead compartment?

(AUSTIN breezes in, glowing with health and holding two green juices.)

AUSTIN

Benny! Pep! Am I interrupting a vibe? I brought you guys some pre-show liquid courage. It's kale and ginger. Really centers the chi.

(Like a gunslinger, Benny snatches a worn puppet—POTTS—from behind the piano and shoves his hand inside it. Potts springs to life.)

POTTS

(In a sarcastic voice) Look! It's the human Lululemon ad! Here to grace us with his perfect posture!

AUSTIN

Benny. For the love of God, can you put the felt demon down?

POTTS

My name is Potts, you genetically blessed smoothie-drinker! And I have more soul in my left googly eye than you have in your entire Peloton-sculpted body!

AUSTIN

I’m gonna give that googly eye a reason to cry if you don't knock it off.

PEPPER

Okay, testosterone party's over. Both of you.

BENNY

Showtime. Gotta go.

(People have been drifting in, finding tables. Benny sets Potts down and Benny heads to the piano.)

AUSTIN

(To Pepper, quietly) Okay. Benny’s really wound up tight tonight.

PEPPER

You get used to it. It’s sort of his brand.

AUSTIN

After his first set I’m gonna head to the Professor’s house to work with him on the travel Chamber.

PEPPER

He told me that you have been coming up with some great insights and it’s getting him closer. Well whatever that means. And he says you’re the leading student at the U in the physics program.

(Benny starts a song and it seems like he really means what he’s singing)

IF YOU WANT ME

BENNY

DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON

KNOWN HER FOR YEARS BUT SOMETHINGS WRONG

SHOULD I LET MYSELF FALL FOR HER

OR JUST BE LIKE WE ALWAYS WERE

DO I WANT HER

WHY’S IT SO HARD TO KNOW

IF I DON’T WANT HER

WHY’S IT HARD TO LET GO

(Tight spot on PEPPER while she sings and no one hears her and BENNY doesn’t know she’s singing everything else is dimmed. Audience freezes in a tableau.)

PEPPER

I WANT TO LOVE YOU AND BE BY YOUR SIDE

YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO GOOD WHEN I’M WITH YOU

YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO DO

WE’LL JUST GO ON BEING CONFUSED

IF YOU WANT ME

YOU GOTTA LET ME KNOW

IF YOU WANT ME OH BENNY

YOU GOTTA LET ME KNOW

(A spot comes up on Benny as they sing together, neither noticing they are singing to each other.)

TOGETHER

IT’S TEARING ME UP INSIDE

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND

DON’T YOU THINK IT’S TIME

PEPPER

IF YOU WANT ME

BENNY

DO I WANT HER

WHY’S IT SO HARD TO KNOW

YOU GOTTA LET ME KNOW

BENNY

DO I WANT HER

PEPPER

IF YOU WANT ME YOU GOTTA LET ME KNOW

PEPPER

IF YOU WANT ME

BENNY

DO I WANT HER WHY’S IT SO HARD TO KNOW

PEPPER

YOU GOTTA LET ME KNOW

BENNY

DO I WANT HER

TOGETHER

IF YOU WANT ME YOU GOTTA LET ME KNOW

(Blackout. The show is now over. Austin approaches Benny.)

AUSTIN

Hey, man, great set. A little… angsty in parts, but powerful stuff. Anyway, Pepper shot out of here like a cannon. Said she had to, uh, "return some baggage"? Weird. Hey, I’m headed to Peppers uncles house for a quick look at his Time Travel Experiment.

BENNY

You’re really not taking that serious are you?

AUSTIN

I don’t know he has decades of research invested in this and some of it really makes sense.

BENNY

If you understand quantum physics, it does.

AUSTIN

Do you want to ride with me. He can be a real hoot to be around.

BENNY

No. I'm good. Want to be alone.

AUSTIN

You sure? You seemed a little off tonight. Kept glaring at a guy in a sweater in the third row.

BENNY

I'm fine. But thanks for coming. And congratulations for getting that master’s in physics award. Christoff told Pepper. He said it was a pretty big deal.

AUSTIN

Yeah thanks. I guess I'll see you around. And since you seemed a little off tonight, If you need anything, call me.

(Austin exits. Benny waits until the door closes.)

BENNY

(To himself) Right. Like I'm gonna call him. He’d probably just tell me to meditate on it. "Mr. So-You-Think-You-Can-Dance-Off-With-My-Maybe-Girlfriend."Probably wished he sailed right out of here with her, explaining the benefits of organic flaxseed and proper core engagement. God, I hate him sometimes.

(Benny pulls out his phone, hesitates, and then calls Pepper. It goes to voicemail.)

BENNY

(Into the phone) Hey, Pepper. It's Benny. Obviously. You know that. From the…phone. Anyway. So, I just wanted to… look, the Samsonite thing? Bad analogy. You're not baggage. You're… you're like, really nice, high-end, carry-on luggage with excellent wheels. No! That's worse. Scrap that. I'm an idiot. My brain is a dumpster fire and I should not be allowed to talk to nice people. But I'd really like to talk to you again. If you'll let me. Please call me. Before I say something about checked luggage. Okay, bye.

(Hangs up the phone and begins thinking out loud)

BENNY

I don’t know, maybe Austin would be a better for Pepper. He’s getting a degree and I’m doing nothing.

DANCE ALONE

BENNY

THERE’S TIMES I WANT TO BE SEEN

OTHER DAYS I WANT TO BE SERENE

I‘D LIKE TO BE ON THE BIG SCREEN

OTHER MOMENTS I NEED A PRIVATE SCENE

DANCE, DANCE, DANCE, NOTHING TO PROVE

SOMETIMES I WANNA DANCE ALONE

AND JUST GET LOST IN A CROWD

KEEPING STEP WITH NO ONE

LIVING OUT LOUD

I CAN BE WHAT I WANT TO BE

I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY SEE

SOMETIMES I WANNA DANCE ALONE

AND JUST DO IT FOR ME

SOME MOMENTS THE HARMONY IS FUN

AT TIMES CAN’T BE AROUND ANYONE

THERE’S DAYS I LIKE OUR TEMPO

OTHER TIMES I GOTTA GO SOLO

DANCE, DANCE, DANCE. NOTHING TO PROVE

SOMETIMES I WANNA DANCE ALONE

AND JUST GET LOST IN A CROWD

KEEPING STEP WITH NO ONE

LIVING OUT LOUD

I CAN BE WHAT I WANT TO BE

I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY SEE

SOMETIMES I WANNA DANCE ALONE

AND JUST DO IT FOR ME

SOMETIMES I WANNA DANCE ALONE

AND JUST GET LOST IN A CROWD

KEEPING STEP WITH NO ONE

LIVING OUT LOUD

I CAN BE WHAT I WANT TO BE

I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY SEE

SOMETIMES I WANNA DANCE ALONE

AND JUST DO IT FOR ME

SOMETIMES I WANNA DANCE ALONE

AND JUST DO IT FOR ME

(Blackout)

(Music “Life You’ve Been Good” chorus plays during set change.)

Setting: Uncle Christoff’s house. A chaotic wonderland of magic props, half-finished inventions, and precariously stacked books.

At Rise: Pepper and Benny step into the living room, carefully navigating around a levitating top hat suspended by a visible wire.

CHRISTOFF

Ah, the prodigal niece returns! And she’s brought a guest! Welcome, welcome, to my humble laboratory of wonders!

PEPPER

Hi, Uncle Christoff. Try not to set anything on fire this time. You know Benny.

CHRISTOFF

Of course I do, the next Billy Joel.

BENNY

Is that a genuine Zanzibartian Spirit Cabinet?

CHRISTOFF

A man of taste!

BENNY

Wow. This is… this is incredible.

CHRISTOFF

Benny the Musical Comedian. Pepper tells me you’re tickling the ivories and the funny bones down at The Howlin’ Harmonies. Marvelous! I must come heckle you sometime.

BENNY

Please do! The last heckler I had just yelled “play something good!” for two hours. I could use a challenge.

PEPPER

(Trying to steer the conversation) Right. So, Benny, I was telling you how Uncle Chris has navigated some… unique challenges in his career.

CHRISTOFF

Challenges? My dear, they called me an old soul when I was ten. I call myself the Vaudeville Magician, trapped in the tragically un-dazzling 21st century! I belong in a world of gaslights and applause, not… Wi-Fi passwords and kale.

BENNY

Oh, I get that. I mean, Vaudeville in the roaring twenties… that was the peak! The absolute pinnacle of entertainment! No pyrotechnics, no holograms, just a man, a piano, and a rubber chicken. Pure entertainment.

CHRISTOFF

This boy gets it!

BENNY

I’ve always dreamed of performing in Vaudeville. Can you imagine? You’d finish your set, and instead of someone posting you on social media, if they didn’t like you they’d throw a tomato! That’s engagement!

CHRISTOFF

Incredible! Then you, my boy, are the perfect audience for my magnum opus! I call it… The Vaudeville Time Travel Chamber!

(He signals to something that looks like a refrigerator box covered in tin foil, blinking Christmas lights, and a worrying number of gauges.)

BENNY

Whoa.

PEPPER

Okay. Here we go.

CHRISTOFF

I was hoping to persuade young Pepper to be my lovely assistant once the final… calibrations… were complete.

PEPPER

(Crossing her arms) Yeah, that’s a hard pass. I saw what happened to your "sawing the lady in half" box. The lady was fine, but the box is now two very expensive end tables.

BENNY

(Circling the box, completely mesmerized) What does it do?

CHRISTOFF

Picture this! The lovely Pepper, a vision of modernity in her dungarees, steps inside. I utter the ancient incantations—hocus pocus, alakazam, please don’t sue me, ma’am—and POOF! I open the door, she’s vanished! A moment later, I open it again, and she reappears, a dazzling flapper from 1924, probably complaining about Prohibition!

PEPPER

You will one hundred percent need to hire a flapper. I’m not available.

BENNY

But how? Trap door? Smoke and mirrors? An identical twin you keep in the basement?

CHRISTOFF

That’s the beauty of it, my boy! It’s not a trick! I’m still ironing out the kinks, but my goal is literal, honest-to-goodness temporal displacement!

PEPPER

(Sighing) No, thank you. I’ve seen your iron. It has three settings: off, smoldering, and inferno.

BENNY

Wait, you mean… for real? Real time travel? I’ve been hearing about this.

CHRISTOFF

As real as the tax bill I’m currently hiding from!

PEPPER

Yep. This is my life. Ever since I was a kid, it’s been stories about bending spacetime and escaping to the ‘good old days.’

CHRISTOFF

(Gesturing to a wobbly stack of books) It’s all in the research! Decades of study! I am this close to cracking it. I can feel it in my mustache. And your friend Austin has given me some significant insight.

BENNY

What do people say when you tell them you’re building a time machine?

CHRISTOFF

People aren’t believers. They look at you like you’re a three-headed frog. So, I keep my dreams in here. Safer that way.

BENNY

Doesn’t that get… lonely? Keeping it all to yourself?

CHRISTOFF

Lonely? Son, let me tell you. Sometimes it’s easier to just be the eccentric magician in the corner. People understand that.

PEPPER

Uncle Christoff, you can be a handful, but you’re my favorite handful.

CHRISTOFF

Life can be a roller coaster, I’m just trying to learn to put my hands up and enjoy the view, even on the scary drops.

BENNY

I hear you loud and clear.

CHRISTOFF

We’ll always have struggles. But now, most days, I can look life in the eye and say, “You’re a weird, chaotic mess, but you’re worth it.”

LIFE YOU’VE BEEN GOOD

CHRISTOFF

LIFE, YOU’RE WORTH LIVING

EVERY DAY YOU KEEP ON GIVING

LIFE, I LIKE SPENDING TIME WITH YOU

AND I’M GLAD, YOU’VE BEEN GOOD TO ME TOO

(Benny goes to Christoff’s piano and plays along)

LIFE, I’D DO ANYTHING FOR YOU

I’M BEWILDERED AT WHAT YOU CAN DO

LIFE, NOT ALWAYS AN EASY ROAD

SOMETIMES IT’S A HEAVY LOAD

LIFE NO ONE‘S GOT NINE LIVES

SO I’M GONNA LIVE IT RIGHT

THANKFUL FOR ONE MORE DAY OF LIFE

LIFE, YOU’RE ON MY SIDE

YOU WON’T LET GO OF ME ‘TILL I’M IN THE SKY

LIFE, YOU SURPRISE ME

I’M GLAD THAT MOSTLY WE AGREE

LIFE NO ONE‘S GOT NINE LIVES

SO I’M GONNA LIVE IT RIGHT

THANKFUL FOR ONE MORE DAY OF LIFE

ALL SING TOGETHER

NOW’S MY CHANCE TO MAKE IT COUNT

I DON’T WANT TO BE LEFT WITHOUT LIFE

LIFE NO ONE‘S GOT NINE LIVES

SO I’M GONNA LIVE IT RIGHT

THANKFUL FOR ONE MORE DAY

THANKFUL FOR ONE MORE DAY

THANKFUL FOR ONE MORE DAY OF LIFE

BENNY

I’m really glad I came. And you should really come to the piano bar. We have a dance floor. You could probably do a killer Charleston.

CHRISTOFF

I’d like that very much!

PEPPER

I’ll make sure it happens. Even if I have to drag him away from his foil teleporter.

CHRISTOFF

I’ll walk you out to that little yellow beetle of yours. I love that car. It’s so… optimistic.

(They start to leave. Benny hangs back for a second, looking at the time chamber.)

BENNY

Just one more look. Seriously, man. I’m rooting for you. If you get it to work, save me a seat.

(Blackout)

Setting: Howlin’ Harmonies Piano Bar. The room is a chaotic mess of pushed-aside tables and chairs to clear a space for dancing.

At Rise: AUSTIN is mid-rehearsal, a whirlwind of flailing limbs and intense concentration. He mutters to himself, a frantic pep talk audible over his

panting. Other dancers stretch in the background.

AUSTIN

(Executing a spin that’s slightly off-balance) Okay, Austin, you are not a human cringe compilation. You are a dancer. Benny pushes ivory. Benny wears his sock on his sleeve. You? You jeté.

(He attempts a jeté, nearly kicking over a chair)

He can’t do that. See? I’m going to dance circles around him until Pepper sees what a... coordinated... non-loser she’s dealing with.

(He stops, sniffing the air with disgust)

God, this place smells like stale beer and regret. I swear my dance shoes are absorbing the stench. Get the studio floors done already! Come on, feet! Do your thing!

DANCE FOR GOODNESS SAKE

AUSTIN

I'M NOT GOOD AT MANY THINGS

BUT I REALLY LOVE TO DANCE

I DIG THE WAY IT MAKES ME FEEL

LIKE A PASSIONATE ROMANCE

THE RHYTHM TAKES A HOLD OF ME

AND I GET LOST IN A TRANCE

FEEL LIKE I’M ON TOP THE WORLD

JUMP TO MY FEET GET UP AND DANCE

AUSTIN AND ENSEMBLE

I’LL DANCE

I’LL SHAKE BUT WON’T BE SHAKEN

I’LL SWING BUT WON’T BE HIT

I’LL STEP BUT WON’T BE STEPPED ON

THIS DANCE I GOT IT

IN THE GROOVE DON’T TRY TO STOP ME

ON THE MOVE DON’T GET IN MY WAY

THAT’S THE CHANCE I’M GONNA TAKE

AND DANCE FOR GOODNESS SAKE

AUSTIN

THEY ALL SAY I AIN’T GOT THE MOVES

BUT I KNOW I GOT THE KNACK

I MAY NOT BE MR. COOL

BUT WHEN I DANCE I DON’T LACK

OTHERS MAY HAVE MORE SKILL THAN ME

I DON’T CLAIM TO HAVE IT ALL

DON’T WANT TO HEAR NOT GOOD ENOUGH,

I'M GONNA SHOW IT OFF IN THE DANCE HALL

AUSTIN AND ENSEMBLE

I’LL DANCE

I’LL SHAKE BUT WON’T BE SHAKEN

I’LL SWING BUT WON’T BE HIT

I’LL STEP BUT WON’T BE STEPPED ON

THIS DANCE I GOT IT

IN THE GROOVE DON’T TRY TO STOP ME

ON THE MOVE DON’T GET IN MY WAY

THAT’S THE CHANCE I’M GONNA TAKE

AND DANCE FOR GOODNESS SAKE

I’LL DANCE

I’LL SHAKE BUT WON’T BE SHAKEN

I’LL SWING BUT WON’T BE HIT

I’LL STEP BUT WON’T BE STEPPED ON

THIS DANCE I GOT IT

IN THE GROOVE DON’T TRY TO STOP ME

ON THE MOVE DON’T GET IN MY WAY

THAT’S THE CHANCE I’M GONNA TAKE

AND DANCE FOR GOODNESS SAKE

AUSTIN

I’LL DANCE

I LOVE THE GROOVE

I WANNA MOVE

NOW’S MY CHANCE TO DANCE

AUSTIN AND ENSEMBLE

I’LL DANCE

I’LL SHAKE BUT WON’T BE SHAKEN

I’LL SWING BUT WON’T BE HIT

I’LL STEP BUT WON’T BE STEPPED ON

THIS DANCE I GOT IT

IN THE GROOVE DON’T TRY TO STOP ME

ON THE MOVE DON’T GET IN MY WAY

THAT’S THE CHANCE I’M GONNA TAKE

AND DANCE FOR GOODNESS SAKE

(Austin grabs his bag to leave then Pepper and Benny enter for the evenings show. He sees Austin’s frantic energy.)

BENNY

Hey, man. How’s the… uh… rehearsal going? Looks intense.

AUSTIN

It’ll be a lot more intense when we’re not rehearsing in a place that’s 90% sticky.

BENNY

(Slightly stung)Wow. Okay. Well, you’re welcome, I guess?

(PEPPER bounces in, full of energy.)

PEPPER

You guys should stick around for Benny’s show tonight! My Uncle Christoff is coming!

AUSTIN

I don’t know. I think the fumes in here are starting to melt my brain cells.

PEPPER

(Her smile falters) Oh. I just… I thought it’d be fun. I really want you to see my uncle.

AUSTIN

(Sighs, seeing her face) Sorry, Pepper. My bad. Yeah, sure. For you. Let me just go change into something less… damp.

(Austin exits, dripping with sweat and angst.)

PEPPER

What is with him? Did someone replace his protein shake with vinegar?

BENNY

Maybe… Ah, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.

PEPPER

Okay… You know, this whole thing just made me think of the day we first met. Remember that?

BENNY

Are you kidding? I have it seared into my brain. The day of the Great Locker-Shoving Incident.

PEPPER

Ugh, those guys were the worst! I couldn’t just stand there while they treated you like a human pinball.

BENNY

You know, in a weird way, they were right. I really do hide behind Potts. I wish I had half the confidence you do.

PEPPER

Benny, you are Potts. He doesn’t have a secret little puppet brain of his own.

BENNY

I know, but when he’s on my hand, it’s like I’m wearing armor. Suddenly, I’m on stage, I’m in charge. It doesn’t matter if I’m at the DMV or a funeral, I’m the main event.

PEPPER

Benny, listen to yourself. You sound like a Bond villain. “The world is my stage!” Everything isn’t always about you.

BENNY

It feels like it has to be! I have this dumb voice in my head that says if I’m not constantly ‘on,’ if I’m not entertaining everyone, they’ll just… get bored and walk away.

PEPPER

You make a lot of people happy, Benny. But you can’t be responsible for the entire planet’s good time. Just be a good person. Be kind. You get so stuck in your head, you forget those jerks only had as much power as you gave them.

BENNY

You saved me that day. I never really said it, but… that meant everything.

PEPPER

Well… uh… you’ve kind of meant everything to me, too.

BENNY

You always get me. Whether I’m on top of the world or convinced I’m a total fraud.

PEPPER

Well, you kinda got me, too.

BENNY

I do?

PEPPER

Yeah. My heart.

BENNY

This is not so easy for me to say. But Pepper…

(He grabs her hands.)

I do love you.

PEPPER

Oh Benny I love you too.

INTO THE WATER

BENNY

UNDER A SPELL HAVE WE FOUND LOVE TOGETHER

IS IT TOO SOON TO WANT FOREVER

PEPPER

PEOPLE SAY WE SHOULDN’T HURRY

THE RIVER FLOWS WHAT’S TO WORRY

BENNY

TRUST IS HARD FOR ME TO DO

PEPPER

I WON’T DROWN AS LONG AS I’M WITH YOU

TOGETHER

WHAT IF WE BOTH JUMP INTO THE WATER

WHERE THE CURRENT’S UNKNOWN

WILL WE FLOAT TOGETHER OR JUST DRIFT ALONE

PEPPER

THEY SAY WE’RE NOT RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER

IT’S NOT LIKE THAT WHEN WE’RE TOGETHER

BENNY

I WAS ENCHANTED LIKE A DREAM

AROUND THE BEND IT’S FLOWING STRONGER

ALL ALONE WE WANTED SOMEONE TO CARE

PEPPER

WHERE THE RIVERS JOIN THE PERFECT PAIR

TOGETHER

WHAT IF WE BOTH JUMP INTO THE WATER

WHERE THE CURRENT’S UNKNOWN

WILL WE FLOAT TOGETHER OR JUST DRIFT ALONE

TOGETHER

WHAT IF WE BOTH JUMP INTO THE WATER

WHERE THE CURRENT’S UNKNOWN

WILL WE FLOAT TOGETHER OR JUST DRIFT ALONE

(Benny and Pepper kiss. Austin begins to enter as the song ends. He shows signs of jealousy of their intimacy. Benny and Pepper hug for an extended time, and just as the moment gets truly sweet, a booming voice shatters it as Christoff enters the lounge.)

CHRISTOFF

Hello, kids! Am I interrupting a pivotal plot point?

BENNY

Christoff! You’re here! This is amazing! Sir, it’s an honor.

CHRISTOFF

The honor is all mine, my boy! I have astounding news!

(Austin returns, now in street clothes.)

BENNY

Don’t tell me. Please don’t tell me. You’re about to offer to send me back to 1924 in your Quantum Leap-inator so I can finally open for Al Jolson.

CHRISTOFF

Benny, you psychic! How did you know?

AUSTIN

What?? Start from the beginning.

PEPPER

Uncle Chris, you didn’t! You didn’t get the time machine working?

CHRISTOFF

Well, sort of! I fired up the chamber this afternoon and… I traveled a full hour into the past!

AUSTIN

That’s incredible. You sure the clocks were all set to the correct time?

CHRISTOFF

It worked! A few more tweaks to the flux capacitor, and who knows how far we can go!

BENNY

A hundred years! We’re shooting for a hundred years, right? The Roaring Twenties!

PEPPER

Benny, you’ve been talking about performing in vaudeville of the 1920’s since we were fifteen.

BENNY

Uncle Chris, you are a certified, card-carrying genius!

(Pepper’s smile tightens. He didn’t even seem to hear her.)

(Benny, without missing a beat, whips his puppet, POTTS, out of his jacket pocket.)

POTTS

I wanna go! I’ll be the first dog in history to time travel! Take that, Laika! Those Russian space monkeys will be green with envy!

AUSTIN

Professor I don’t think it’s ready yet. It could be dangerous.

POTTS

(Potts looks right at Austin) Your face ruins a party.

PEPPER

(Trying to reclaim the moment) So Benny, isn’t it great that Uncle Christoff could make it tonight?

(Benny doesn’t respond. He’s staring at the clock on the wall, completely lost in his own world.)

BENNY

Oh, man, showtime! Christoff, come here, you gotta see my setup! All my sheet music is on my iPad, it’s wild!

(Benny drags a delighted Christoff over to the piano, leaving Pepper and Austin standing awkwardly in their wake.)

AUSTIN

Are they for real?

PEPPER

(Through gritted teeth) Yah. Both like kids in a toy store. Can’t you see I’m invisible? My uncle is a mad scientist and my boyfriend is about to abandon me for the Jazz Age!

AUSTIN

Boyfriend? Boyfriend tonight.

PEPPER

Or whatever! I don’t know what’s happening a lot of the time!

AUSTIN

I’m a little confused myself, but I’ll tell you this. If your “boyfriend” wants to hop in a magic box and go hang out with flappers, I’ll still be right here. In this century. If you want.

PEPPER

He’s not going anywhere.

(Benny sits at the piano, puts Potts on his hand, and addresses the small audience.)

BENNY

Welcome, everybody, to HOWLIN’ Harmonies!

POTTS

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You stepped on my bit. I’m the howler. That’s my whole brand. Try it again, Slick, and stay in your lane.

BENNY

Excuse me? Do we have a little attitude tonight?

POTTS

If I don’t have an attitude, you don’t have an act. Now, from the top.

BENNY

(Sighing) Welcome, everybody, to…

POTTS

(Belting out a ridiculous, soulful run) HOWWWW-LLLLINNNNNG!!! HAR-MO-NIEEEES! YEAH!

(Benny yanks Potts off his hand, silencing him mid-howl, and grimaces at the audience.)

GETTING STARTED

Benny

JUST GETTING STARTED

IT'S TIME FOR THESE FEET TO HIT THE GROUND

I'VE BEEN HALF HEARTED

IT'S TIME FOR MY HEART TO COME AROUND

BENNY, PEPPER, CHRISTOFF AND AUSTIN

A NEW DAY’S DAWNING

THE LIGHT THAT'S RISING IS NOT HELD DOWN

IT'S BURNING BRIGHTER

A BRILLIANT SPARK IN ME HAS BEEN FOUND

ENTIRE ENSEMBLE

DREAMS RISE

LOVE GROWS

EVERYTHING WE’VE HOPED FOR NOW IS CLOSER THAN WE KNOW

STANDING STRONG

HOLDING ON

EVERY STEP WE’RE TAKING SHOWS HOW FAR WE HAVE COME

BENNY

AUSTIN CLAIMS THE PRIZE

A PHYSICS STAR WHO LIGHTS THE WAY

HE LIFTS HIS FRIENDS UP HIGH

AND HELPS THE DREAMER SEIZE THE DAY

PEPPER

PROFESSOR BUILDS THE DREAM

A TIME MACHINE SO CLOSE TO REAL

AUSTIN

GEARS HUMMING LATE AT NIGHT

EACH SPARK REVEALS WHAT HE FEELS

ENTIRE ENSEMBLE

DREAMS RISE

LOVE GROWS

EVERYTHING WE’VE HOPED FOR NOW IS CLOSER THAN WE KNOW

STANDING STRONG

HOLDING ON

EVERY STEP WE’RE TAKING SHOWS HOW FAR WE HAVE COME

PEPPER

HOOKED ON BENNY

BENNY

OUR HEARTS BEGIN A BRAND NEW STAGE

PEPPER

NO NEED TO WORRY

BENNY

IT’S LIKE A NEW SONG EVERYDAY

CHRISTOFF

I FEEL THE FREEDOM

TO DO THE THINGS I’D NEVER DONE

BENNY, PEPPER ,CHRISTOFF AND AUSTIN

JUST GETTING STARTED

WON'T LET THE PAST STEAL MY FUN

ENTIRE ENSEMBLE

DREAMS RISE

LOVE GROWS

EVERYTHING WE’VE HOPED FOR NOW IS CLOSER THAN WE KNOW

STANDING STRONG

HOLDING ON

EVERY STEP WE’RE TAKING SHOWS HOW FAR WE HAVE COME

DREAMS RISE

LOVE GROWS

EVERYTHING WE’VE HOPED FOR NOW IS CLOSER THAN WE KNOW

STANDING STRONG

HOLDING ON

EVERY STEP WE’RE TAKING SHOWS HOW FAR WE HAVE COME

BENNY

Thank ya ’all for coming tonight to Howlin’ Harmonies.

(The crowd applauds and begins to leave.)

CROWD ONE

Hey Benny tonight was a blast!

CROWD TWO

I like the new songs you added.

CROWD THREE

Especially that one about not buying it. Now that’s clever.

(The MANAGER moves close to BENNY)

MANAGER

It’s about time you did something to improve your act.

(Benny goes to join his friends)

CHRISTOFF

You would have been great in Vaudeville. You have a nostalgic touch to your act. And because of that I especially enjoyed it. None of that rapping stuff.

BENNY

Well thanks Uncle Christoff.

CHRISTOFF

I’m going to head home and work on the time machine. You’ve inspired me.

PEPPER

I’ll walk out with you.

AUSTIN

I’m out of here too. (under his breath) Gonna work on my rap.

BENNY

See ya guys. Thanks for coming.

PEPPER

I’m not leaving Benny. I’ll be right back.

(Benny stays behind and the three of them begin to leave. As they exit Pepper puts her arm around Christoff and Austin while Benny looks on with envy and wishes it was him she was hugging.)

(Blackout)

Setting: Benny’s Living room.

At Rise: Benny and his father are in the living room. A six-pack of beer sits on the coffee table next Dad, two of them consumed.

BENNY

Place was packed last night, Dad. The whole lounge was buzzing.

DAD

Buzzing enough to give you a raise?

BENNY

Well, it’s not really that kind of setup.

DAD

That’s not how the world works, son. The guy who brings the bees gets a cut of the honey. Are you getting your honey? Or are you just getting stung?

BENNY

The regulars are great. The tip jar’s getting heavy. I mean, like, coin heavy, but it’s a start.

DAD

Tips. You know what tips are? That's charity for people with a hobby. You need a W-2, Benny. You need a job where they take taxes out just so you know it’s real.

BENNY

I’m really lucky to have this gig.

DAD

If you’d taken that forklift certification course I told you about, you’d have a pension by now. Instead, you’re a professional beggar with a soundtrack. In my day, that was a guy on a street corner with a harmonica and a monkey. You don’t even have a monkey, Benny.

(BENNY just shrinks into the couch.)

DAD

I swear to God, I should’ve never let your mother sign you up for those piano lessons.

BENNY

It was six months! That teacher changed everything for me.

DAD

Expensive! For what? So you could learn to play ‘Chopsticks’ with your elbows at Thanksgiving?

BENNY

She was the first person who ever said I was good at something. Naturally good. She said I could teach myself the rest. So I did.

DAD

I wish I’d spent that money on a helmet. You have any idea what a second-string long snapper makes for the New York Giants? More than the President! And all he has to do is not screw up one thing.

BENNY

I’m sorry I disappoint you, Dad.

DAD

(Sighs, stands up, and cracks another beer) I’ve got to go to work. They’s got me on graveyard tonight. Somebody’s gotta have a real job to keep the lights on. Maybe someday you’ll make some money at it.

(DAD exits.)

CRITICISM

BENNY

FEW THINGS IN LIFE

EVER HURT THIS BAD

WHEN YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING GOOD

AND SOMEONE SAYS THAT’S PRETTY SAD

THEN YOU ASK YOURSELF

WHERE DID I GO WRONG

ARE THEY JUST BEING CRITICAL

WHERE DOES THEIR COMMENT BELONG

DOES IT MAKE YOU BETTER

OR MAKE YOU WORSE

ARE YOU INSPIRED

OR DOES IT MAKE YOU CURSE

CRITICISM

IT CAN FEEL LIKE A PRISON

EVER SINCE I REMEMBER

PEOPLE SAID YOU’LL BE A STAR

BUT THEIR VOICES WEREN’T AS LOUD

AS THE VOICE OF MY FATHER

WHEN I DON’T HEAR APPLAUSE

IT’S ALMOST PAINFUL

I JUST HEAR MY DAD

LIKE HE’S THERE BEING CRITICAL

DOES IT MAKE YOU BETTER

OR MAKE YOU WORSE

ARE YOU INSPIRED

OR DOES IT MAKE YOU CURSE

CRITICISM

IT CAN FEEL LIKE A PRISON

CRITICISM

IT CAN FEEL LIKE A PRISON

(Benny picks up a picture of his mother and stares deeply.)

(Pepper shows up at Bennys house.)

BENNY

Hey, Pep. Wasn’t expecting you.

PEPPER

Okay, don't panic, but Uncle C thinks he cracked it. The Time Travel Chamber. He wants me to be the first guinea pig. Says he "stabilized the temporal matrix" with a part from a microwave.

BENNY

You're kidding me.

PEPPER

I think the only thing he's stabilized is the flickering lightbulb inside. It's a stage prop, Benny. A really convincing one that smells like burnt toast, but still.

BENNY

Oh. So… you’re not gonna do it?

PEPPER

Oh, I'm going. I told him I'd help him perfect the 'disappearing assistant' trick, but that I was booked solid for actual temporal displacement until at least next Tuesday. I wish you could come by and be a skeptical audience member?

BENNY

Wish I could but I got to go to work. I just got out of the ring with my dad. I don’t think I’d have the energy for theoretical physics right now.

PEPPER

Oh I’m sorry Benny. Was it the "you're a musical panhandler without a monkey" speech?

BENNY

The "why aren't you a second-string long snapper" version. And the worst part is… sometimes I think the old man has a point. You go have fun. Let me know if you end up in the Cretaceous period. And I’ll go sing my heart out.

PEPPER

You know I was thinking what if it really worked and we got separated into a different universe. I just don’t know how I’d live without you.

BENNY

That sounds horrible, but good at the same time.

PEPPER

What are you saying?

BENNY

I’m saying that I wouldn’t mind being lost in time as long as you were with me.

(They kiss and hug passionately. Austin interrupts with a knock at the door. They are shaken by the enthusiastic knock.)

YOU’RE A GENIUS

AUSTIN

[SPOKEN] HEY, AM I INTERRUPTING?

BENNY

IT’S OKAY DUDE.

AUSTIN

[SUNG] I JUST GOT SOME REALLY GREAT NEWS,

HOPE I DON'T SOUND RUDE.

PEPPER

SO HOW WAS YOUR INTERVIEW

DID YOU GET MORE GOOD REVIEWS

AUSTIN

THAT PHYSICS PRIZE I JUST WON

WELL, NYU GAVE ME A CALL

MY MASTER'S BECOMES A DOCTORATE

AND THEY'RE GONNA PAY FOR IT ALL

PEPPER & BENNY

WE’RE PROUD YOU’LL BE A DOCTOR

A DOCTOR WHO'LL CHANGE THE WORLD

YOU’RE GONNA GO A LONG WAY

AUSTIN

NO GIRLS LINING UP TODAY

YOU’RE LUCKY TO HAVE PEPPER

WISH I HAD A GIRL LIKE HER

PEPPER

OH AUSTIN YOU’RE A GENIUS

YOU’LL FIND SOMEONE THAT’S FOR SURE

PEPPER

SPEAKING OF WHAT YOU’VE DONE

YOU’VE HELPED UNCLE CHRIS

HE THINKS HE’S ALMOST GOT IT RIGHT

WITH ALL YOUR HELP HE MIGHT NOT MISS

AUSTIN, WANNA GO WITH ME

AUSTIN

I CAN’T BUT WISH I COULD

PEPPER

WELL I TOLD HIM I WOULD BE SOON

JUST A TRICK OR FINALLY TRAVEL FOR GOOD

PEPPER & BENNY

WE’RE PROUD YOU’LL BE A DOCTOR

A DOCTOR WHO'LL CHANGE THE WORLD

YOU’RE GONNA GO A LONG WAY

AUSTIN

NO GIRLS LINING UP TODAY

YOU’RE LUCKY TO HAVE PEPPER

WISH I HAD A GIRL LIKE HER

PEPPER

OH AUSTIN YOU’RE A GENIUS

YOU’LL FIND SOMEONE THAT’S FOR SURE

I'LL BE BACK TONIGHT WITHOUT FAIL

UNLESS THROUGH TIME TRAVEL I SAIL

BENNY

I’ve got to take off and head to Harmonies.

PEPPER

I’ve got to go help Uncle Christoff with the stage illusion.

AUSTIN

I got to go home and tell my mom and dad the good news.

PEPPER

They’re going to be so happy.

AUSTIN

Yeah cuz they won’t have to pay anything. And NYU is gonna pay me a salary while I’m in the program.

BENNY

Wow sounds sweet. Must be nice to be smart. I gotta get changed. So you guys just see yourselves out. And Pepper Tell Uncle Christoff hi for me.

PEPPER

See ya Benny have a great night.

(They share a very quick kiss.)

AUSTIN

Do I get one?

(Pepper gives Austin a kiss on the cheek and they walk out together.)

(Blackout)

Setting: Howlin’ Harmonies Piano Bar One day since Benny has seen Pepper.

At Rise: Benny is playing the last few chords of his song as a sparse-but-enthusiastic crowd sings along. Austin slips in the back.

SING A SONG WITH BENNY-REPRISE

CROWD AND BENNY

WHERE DO YOU GO WHEN YOU’RE FEELING LONELY

WHO DO YOU TURN TO WHEN YOU’RE IN NEED

A PLACE THAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE FAMILY

SING A SONG WITH BENNY

WHERE DO YOU GO WHEN YOU’RE FEELING LONELY

WHO DO YOU TURN TO WHEN YOU’RE IN NEED

A PLACE THAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE FAMILY

SING A SONG WITH BENNY

(The song ends. Scattered applause.)

BENNY

Thank you, thank you! You’ve been a beautiful audience. I’m Benny! If you have a spare buck for the piano man, it’ll keep my schnauzer puppet in premium felt. Goodnight!

(A few people shuffle out, dropping a couple of singles in Benny’s jar.)

AUSTIN

(Austin walks over to Benny) They were into it, Lately I’ve been an ass. Full stop. Don’t say anything, just… let me own my ass-ness. I’m sorry. It’s kinda been all about me. And I wanted to see how you were, after… you know. The dad apocalypse.

BENNY

The worst part is, I think he’s onto something. I’ve chosen a career path with the financial stability of a unicycle on an oil slick.

AUSTIN

Don’t do that. You’ve got more talent in your left pinky than most people have in their entire LinkedIn profile. Even with that horrifying schnauzer puppet of yours. Even with Potts you get on stage and people light up. It’s… it’s weirdly compelling.

BENNY

Wow.

AUSTIN

No, I’m serious! You make people happy. You’re not just some piano player, you’re like… a musical comedy superhero for sad people. A sad-person-superhero. Just don’t lose the faith, man. Keep the vision.

BENNY

(His smile fades as he checks his phone.) Speaking of vision… seen Pepper? Heard from her?

AUSTIN

No. Why, you haven't?

BENNY

Not since she came over a couple days ago telling me she was going to her Uncle Christoff’s. Now, nothing. Radio silence. I’ve called Christoff’s landline—who even has a landline?—no answer. I called her parents. They know nothing. I texted her friends. Nada. She’s just… gone. Should I call the cops? Am I at the ‘call the cops’ stage?

AUSTIN

Whoa, slow down. Maybe she just needed some space to clear her head.

BENNY

Clear her head about what? (Benny starts pacing) Oh, God. Okay. This is going to sound nuts. But I have this feeling. You know that stage illusion her uncle was building? The Time Travel Chamber?

AUSTIN

Now don’t go there. It’s gonna be years before that thing could possibly work.

BENNY

It’s more complex than that! What if… what if they were working on it, and they plugged something into the wrong socket, and they actually… accidentally… time-traveled? What if they’re stuck in, like, the groovy sixties?

AUSTIN

Benny. Christoff is a theatrical magician. He’s building an illusion. He did not create a working time machine in his garage.

BENNY

I thought you were on board with his time travel machine.

AUSTIN

Well I mean, I know what he’s doing and I have given him some of my ideas according to his theories. But then time travel at this point in 2024, I don’t think so.

BENNY

That is so you! That’s your whole problem! You’re so damn logical! There’s more to the universe than your own understanding of science, Austin. Pepper could be trying to communicate with us from the past right now, and we’d miss it because you’d be too busy explaining the laws of physics!

AUSTIN

I thought you weren’t buying any of this business at all.

BENNY

I don’t know it’s the only thing that makes any sense.

AUSTIN

Okay, let's put the DeLorean back in the garage for a second. Honestly, Benny, half the time I don’t think you deserve her.

BENNY

Okay, fine! Whatever. Yelling at me isn’t gonna help us find her, is it?

AUSTIN

No. You’re right.(He grabs his jacket.) So I’ll go look for her myself. You stay here and listen for clues from the space-time continuum.

I BELIEVE YOU’RE THERE

BENNY

NOW IT SEEMS WE CAN READ EACH OTHERS MINDS

I THINK IT’S HAPPENING AFTER ALL THIS TIME

I FEEL SO CLOSE THOUGH YOU’RE FAR AWAY

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I’M THINKING WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY

IS THIS HAUNTING A MESSAGE FROM JUST MY BROKEN HEART

I SEE AND HEAR YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE

I SUSPECT I’M HAUNTING YOU TOO

YOU’VE DISAPPEARED WHAT’S HAPPENED TO YOU

I FEEL YOU EVERYWHERE

WHEN I BELIEVE YOU’RE THERE

I SENSE A CHILL IN THE AIR

CAN WE STOP THE HAUNTING

AND LIVE AGAIN

LOVE NEVER DIED

MY SEARCHING WILL NOT END

HOW COULD I FEEL YOU IF YOU’RE NOT HERE WITH ME

I SENSE YOUR PRESENCE BUT YOU I DON’T SEE

TIMES I OPEN MY EYES AND TURN AROUND

MY HEART DROPS CUZ YOU’RE NOT FOUND

I’VE GOT A HUNCH YOU STILL LOVE ME

AND THAT MEANS WE BOTH AGREE

WHEN YOU LEFT, SOMETHING WAS LEFT BEHIND

I’VE HELD YOU CLOSE ALL OF THIS TIME

I FEEL YOU EVERYWHERE

WHEN I BELIEVE YOU’RE THERE

I SENSE A CHILL IN THE AIR

CAN WE STOP THE HAUNTING

AND LIVE AGAIN

LOVE NEVER DIED

MY SEARCHING WILL NOT END

I FEEL YOU EVERYWHERE

WHEN I BELIEVE YOU’RE THERE

I SENSE A CHILL IN THE AIR

CAN WE STOP THE HAUNTING

AND LIVE AGAIN

LOVE NEVER DIED

MY SEARCHING WILL NOT END

(Blackout)

(Intermission)

Setting: Uncle Christoph’s house living room. Two days since Pepper’s been seen.

At Rise: BENNY and AUSTIN are tiptoeing into the house. Benny immediately trips over an ottoman.

AUSTIN

Smooth. Real smooth. You know, for a guy who’s breaking into a house, you have the grace of a fainting goat.

BENNY

Shh! Keep it down.

AUSTIN

I’m just saying, I’m not sure I’m cut out for a life of crime. Then again, a few years in a minimum-security prison might be a nice, quiet break from my postmodern literature course.

BENNY

Focus! Pepper’s gone, Uncle Christoph has gone completely off-grid, and all roads lead to this machine, (He gestures dramatically to the travel chamber.) The source of all our problems.

AUSTIN

(Circling the chamber.) This contraption looks like a vintage refrigerator that had a baby with a steampunk phone booth.

(He spots an easel with papers on it.)

Hey, look at this...at all the work he’s done since I was here. These… blueprints? The detail is insane! My man Christoph has the artistic focus of a Renaissance master and the interior design sense of a mad scientist.

BENNY

Does it say where the “On” switch is? An “Un-Vanish Pepper” button would be great right about now.

AUSTIN

(Scanning the pages his eyes wide open.) This is… everything. The final touches. Every wire, every gear… detailed operating instructions… I’ve got to look at this beyond it just being a magic trick right now. Benny, I don’t know, this may be the real deal.

BENNY

So you can make it work? We have to find out what happened to Pepper.

AUSTIN

“Make it work?” Benny, this schematic has more theoretical physics than my entire master’s program! This isn't smoke and mirrors; this is quantum-physics and temporal-whatchamacallits.

BENNY

We have to try! It’s our only shot!

AUSTIN

Or—and hear me out, this is a crazy idea—we could call the police? I’ll admit, “My friend got zapped into another dimension by her uncle’s weird wardrobe” feels slightly more rational than climbing inside the thing!

BENNY

It’s for Pepper, Austin! (Picking up the blueprints) Okay, I can hold the plans and you can—

AUSTIN

(Waving him off) Don’t need ‘em. I got it.

BENNY

Don’t tell me, from the time you spent working on this with Christoff along with your glance now, you’ve got a picture of it in your brain?

AUSTIN

(Tapping his temple) Welcome to the hard drive. It’s all in here.

BENNY

You are an absolute freak of nature. I have to write a grocery list to remember to buy milk.

AUSTIN

Alright then. Who’s ready to be the first human guinea pig to potentially have their molecules scattered across the space-time continuum? Ladies first?

BENNY

I’ll go.

(BENNY cautiously climbs in.)

AUSTIN

Okay, but if we end up fused together into some horrible Cronenberg monster, I call being the head.

(He starts to climb in.)

Alright, hold your breath and cross your toes. Left over right. It’s crucial for temporal stability.

BENNY

Really?

AUSTIN

No, you idiot, I’m messing with you! Just move over!

(AUSTIN climbs in after Benny)

BENNY

What kind of fancy button pushing do you gotta do?

AUSTIN

It should be all fully engaged once we close the door that’s if Christoph did make it work.

BENNY

So what else do you gotta do?

AUSTIN

Just shut the door. You ready. Hold your breath.

(Austin slowly pulls the door shut. The machine begins to shake violently. Lights flicker like a lightning storm, casting wild patterns onto the audience. A surge of magical, synth-heavy music swells. The door swings open with a final thug to reveal the chamber is empty.)

(Blackout.)

(“A Good Year” verse music plays during set change.)

Setting: Backstage at the Palace Theater, it is now 1924. It’s a chaotic wonderland of ropes, half-painted sets, and costume trunks overflowing with sequins and feathers.

At Rise: A sudden, violent shimmering of light. BENNY and AUSTIN tumble to the ground through a clothes rack. They are covered in fallen clothes and red fluffy feather boas.

PEPPER

(Gasps, dropping a powder puff) Benny! Austin!

BENNY

(Spitting out feathers) Pepper!

(Benny scrambles to his feet and they run to each other, a flurry of feathers and relief, ending in a big hug and a quick, happy kiss. Pepper then pulls a bewildered Austin into a hug before grabbing Benny’s hand again. Austin, still dazed, brushes a feather off his nose and glares.)

BENNY

What just happened?!

AUSTIN

Where are we?!

PEPPER

New York City!

AUSTIN

This is crazy! What year is it?

PEPPER

1924!

BENNY

How’s this possible?!

AUSTIN

You did it Christoff!

CHRISTOFF

Thanks to you young man, my prized student.

BENNY

Are you and Pepper okay?

PEPPER

Now that you’re here it doesn’t feel so bad. But we’re okay.

CHRISTOFF

Ah, boys! We’ve been so worried.

AUSTIN

I think we’re all in trouble.

CHRISTOFF

Now that you’re here young man the trouble may not be as catastrophic.

BENNY

Yea, Austin’s ridiculously huge brain cracked your scribbles.

AUSTIN

Woah, woah. Time out, what… just… happened? I feel like I just went ten rounds with a washing machine.

PEPPER

Oh, I was so worried! I thought I’d never see you again.

BENNY

We thought you might’ve gotten kidnapped!

PEPPER

Nope! Just an accidental, unscheduled trip to the Jazz Age.

AUSTIN

Would somebody please tell me how we’re gonna get back?!!

BENNY

Christoff, how’d you get it to work?

CHRISTOFF

Okay, so, we were testing the chamber, and it was being an absolute diva.

PEPPER

Can I tell them? Uncle Chris hopped in to whack something with a wrench, the door slammed shut, everything went all shaky-blurry, and… voilà. New York. A century ago.

BENNY

(Staring at his hands) We… time traveled. For real? Okay. Okay. Cool. Deep breaths. Is there a big, shiny red button that says, "GO HOME NOW"? Please tell me there is.

CHRISTOFF

Well, when I popped back to last Tuesday for an hour, it wasn't a problem.

AUSTIN

It’s not possible. I’m dreaming. I ate some bad calamari and this is a rotten calamari nightmare.

BENNY

How long have you been here?

CHRISTOFF

Just a few days.

BENNY

Nobody’s gonna believe this!

PEPPER

I don’t even know if I believe it.

BENNY

Where are we? This place feels… legendary.

PEPPER

You are standing backstage at the Palace Theater. The mecca of vaudeville.

(Benny grabs Austin by the shoulders.)

BENNY

The Palace?! Austin, do you know how many legends got their start on this stage?! This is like finding the Holy Grail, but with more tap shoes!

(Exchanging a look with Christoff.)

PEPPER

Um, speaking of starting…

BENNY

(A slow grin spreads across his face.) No. Don’t you dare tell me you’re in a show. A real vaudeville show.

(Pepper just nods, bouncing on her toes.)

BENNY

When?

PEPPER

Fifteen minutes.

(Benny lets out a whoop and lifts her in a hug.)

BENNY

I think I am dreaming. My girlfriends about to perform on stage at the Palace theater.

CHRISTOFF

It was quite the entrance. We materialized mid-rehearsal, right in the middle of a barbershop quartet practice. Scared the stripes right off their blazers. Before I could explain, this one here (He gestures to Pepper.) tells them I'm "Christoff the Great, Master of Space and Time!" She’s so convincing, I’m starting to think I should get business cards printed.

BENNY

That’s Pepper. Once her mind’s made up, you might as well try to argue with a hurricane.

PEPPER

It’s a gift. Sometimes a curse.

CHRISTOFF

After the act, Austin, you and I need to put our heads together to figure out how to get back. I just haven’t been able to work it out. But with your amazing mind I’m sure we’ll be able to do it.

BENNY

I can’t believe you’re going on that stage tonight. I am green with envy. So green I could be a set piece for a frog-themed musical.

(A flapper in a sequined dress, runs in, wringing her hands.)

RACHEL

Pepper! It’s a catastrophe! A disaster of cosmic proportions!

PEPPER

Rachel, breathe! What’s wrong?

RACHEL

The stars are all topsy-turvy tonight! Nothing is going right! It’s like Mercury is in… whatever that thing is it does!

(She notices Benny and Austin and their zippers)

Oh! Sorry. Hello. My, what… forward-thinking outfits. Are you part of the act?

(She leans in, fascinated by Benny's zipper)

Speaking of which, my act? Canceled! Kaput! Done for!

PEPPER

What? Why?

RACHEL

My dance partner! Norman! He was warming up—a simple Charleston, mind you—and his ankle just went POP! Made a sound like a sad banjo string. We can’t possibly go on!

PEPPER

Dance?! You need a dancer?

(She shoves Austin forward.)

This is Austin! He’s an amazing dancer! He could fill in!

RACHEL

Oh, that’s swell! But… well, you know. It’s… the Charleston. He doesn’t know the steps. And also...people might, you know, talk. About the… pairing.

PEPPER

I don’t know about all that. But I do know that he’s got a photographic memory. Show him the routine once, and he’ll have it down.

RACHEL

Is that even possible?

PEPPER

Trust me. Austin’s your guy.

RACHEL

Well, my pop’s the stage manager, and he’s desperate enough to put a trained seal on stage right now, so he’ll be fine with it.(To Austin) Hi, I’m Rachel.

AUSTIN

(Shaking her hand, still shell-shocked.)

Uh. Austin. I think. Is it… weird? For us to… you know. Back now? On stage? Black and white? I feel like that wasn’t a huge thing in the Roaring Twenties.

RACHEL

Well, it’s about time it was, don’t you think? Maybe tonight’s the night we start something new. So, whaddya say, handsome? Will you dance with me?

AUSTIN

I… I’d be proud to.

RACHEL

(Hugging him tightly)

Oh, thank you, thank you! You’re a lifesaver!

(As she hugs him, Austin’s eyes go wide. He looks over her shoulder at Pepper, who gives him two enthusiastic thumbs-up.)

PEPPER

Okay. Oh, and Rachel, this walking encyclopedia of vaudeville history is Benny. He sings, he plays piano, and he’s a comedian.

RACHEL

You’re kidding me. The universe is just playing pranks tonight. The comedy act after us? The fella got into a accident on his way here. One of those newfangled Model Ts. They go so fast, it’s a public menace!

PEPPER

Oh no! Is he okay?

RACHEL

He’ll live! Just a bruised ego and a night in the hospital. But his slot is wide open!

AUSTIN

Benny’s act is… an experience.

PEPPER

He’s fantastic, Rachel!

RACHEL

(To Benny) Would you…? Could you…? Tonight?

PEPPER

And he has a partner! A schnauzer puppet named Potts.

RACHEL

Oh, how adorable! I just love schnauzers! My grandma just got one of the first females brought over from Germany! A little darling named Mitzi!

BENNY

Well, that settles it. Can’t do it.

PEPPER

Why not? Benny, this is your dream!

BENNY

I don’t have my puppet with me! Potts is sitting on my bed, 100 years from now!

RACHEL

100 years?

BENNY

I mean he seems that far away.

RACHEL

You need a puppet? We’ve got puppets! There’s a trunk of misfit props over here. Let’s see… a rubber chicken, a unicycle with a flat tire, and… oh! Will this work?

(Rachel opens a dusty trunk and pulls out a puppet. It is, impossibly, the spitting image of POTTS.)

BENNY

Potts? But… how? That looks exactly… I can’t believe there was a schnauzer in the trunk.

AUSTIN

A hundred years. I traveled a hundred years into the past, and I still can’t get away from that stupid dog.

(Rachel looks at him, utterly confused. Benny slips the puppet on his hand.)

RACHEL

You guys are really into that 100 year stuff. You’re gonna have to fill me in on that.

PEPPER

It’s an inside joke, if you know what I mean.

POTTS

(The puppet’s head swivels to look at Austin.) Austin, my old pal! My best buddy! Heard you’re cutting a rug with this swell-looking dame. Think she could introduce me to her grandma’s little schnauzer later? A-woo!

RACHEL

(Clapping her hands) Oh, you’re a scream!

AUSTIN

Benny. Just do the act. For Rachel. And for the show. And for the love of all that is holy, then we can figure out how to get home.

BENNY

Are you kidding? Performing at the Palace has been on my bucket list since I knew what a bucket was! Let’s do this!

RACHEL

I thought the stars had gone haywire, but they just realigned! We lost two performers and gained two new stars! This is fate!

AUSTIN

I’m starting to like this girl.

RACHEL

Alright, no time to waste! We’ve got to get you two into costume and I need to teach Austin a dance routine in…(She glances at a clock.) …eight minutes! Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!

(A flurry of activity as RACHEL and PEPPER wrestle BENNY and AUSTIN into pinstripes and bow ties during the song. Rachel frantically shows Austin the dance steps while Pepper straightens Benny’s costume.)

GETTING STARTED-REPRISE

BENNY

JUST GETTING STARTED

PEPPER

IT'S TIME FOR THESE FEET TO HIT THE GROUND

AUSTIN

I'VE BEEN HALF HEARTED

PEPPER

IT'S TIME FOR MY HEART TO COME AROUND

PEPPER

A NEW DAY’S DAWNING

AUSTIN

THE LIGHT THAT'S RISING IS NOT HELD DOWN

AUSTIN AND PEPPER

IT'S BURNING BRIGHTER

RACHEL

A BRILLIANT SPARK IN ME HAS BEEN FOUND

PEPPER, BENNY, AUSTIN, RACHEL, CHRIS

NOTHING’S LOST THAT CAN’T BE FOUND

AND THE THINGS THAT ONCE BLINDED ME

ARE NOW SO CLEAR TO SEE

ALL THAT'S LOST CAN BE FOUND

AND THE THINGS I ONCE CHASED AFTER

NOW THEY'VE COME TO ME

ALL THAT'S LOST CAN BE FOUND

AND THE THINGS I ONCE CHASED AFTER

NOW THEY'VE COME TO ME

RACHEL

Okay, partner! You ready to knock ‘em dead?

AUSTIN

I am. The question is, is the audience ready for this?

RACHEL

Time will tell.

AUSTIN

That’s the truth. But don’t you worry about me. I got it.

RACHEL

Alright. Here we go. And… thank you.

(Rachel leads the way onto the stage.)

VAUDEVILLE

AUSTIN

VAUDEVILLE, VAUDEVILLE

MYSTICAL AND HYSTERICAL

AUSTIN AND RACHEL

VAUDEVILLE, WHAT A THRILL

A MAGIC WORLD, VAUDEVILLE

ON STAGE VARIETY

ENTERTAINING AND CAPTIVATING

GREAT TALENT BEFORE YOUR EYES

CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT YOU’RE SEEING

RACHEL, AUSTIN and ENSEMBLE

VAUDEVILLE, VAUDEVILLE

MYSTICAL AND HYSTERICAL

VAUDEVILLE, WHAT A THRILL

A MAGIC WORLD, VAUDEVILLE

AUSTIN

ON STAGE VARIETY

AUSTIN AND RACHEL

ENTERTAINING AND CAPTIVATING

GREAT TALENT BEFORE YOUR EYES

CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT YOU’RE SEEING

RACHEL, AUSTIN and ENSEMBLE

VAUDEVILLE, VAUDEVILLE

MYSTICAL AND HYSTERICAL

VAUDEVILLE, WHAT A THRILL

A MAGIC WORLD, VAUDEVILLE

VAUDEVILLE, VAUDEVILLE

MYSTICAL AND HYSTERICAL

VAUDEVILLE, WHAT A THRILL

A MAGIC WORLD, VAUDEVILLE

VAUDEVILLE, VAUDEVILLE

MYSTICAL AND HYSTERICAL

VAUDEVILLE, WHAT A THRILL

A MAGIC WORLD, VAUDEVILLE

(RACHEL and AUSTIN run off stage, breathless and laughing.)

AUSTIN

Wow! That was… amazing! I think only, like, five or six people walked out in protest! I call that a win!

PEPPER

You two were incredible!

CHRISTOFF

Pure magic up there!

(Pepper catches Austin’s eye and smiles, nodding towards Rachel, giving him a silent "go have fun" signal.)

PEPPER

(Turns to Christoff) Okay, Uncle C. Our turn. Time to prove I wasn’t lying about you being the greatest magician in the world.

CHRISTOFF

Thanks, sweetheart. Let’s give ‘em the old razzle-dazzle.

(They move towards the stage.)

RACHEL

(To Austin) That was astonishing. I don’t know how you did that. You were a natural!

AUSTIN

Well, thanks.

RACHEL

No, really! Where do you usually dance?

AUSTIN

Oh, you know… around. On the other side of Times Square. Way, way on the other side.

RACHEL

Dancing is my favorite thing in the whole world.

AUSTIN

You’re kidding! Me too! It’s like… time just stops when I’m out there.

RACHEL

I know exactly what you mean. I think the stars have a lot to do with moments like that. They have a plan for all of us.

AUSTIN

Maybe you could… tell me more about them sometime?

RACHEL

Really? Would you… would you like to go somewhere after the show? We could grab a soda. Your friends can come too! I’d just love to hear your story.

AUSTIN

It’s… complicated. But I’d love that.

RACHEL

Oh, I like complicated things.

AUSTIN

Great, so, it’s a date?

RACHEL

(Puts a finger to her lips) Shh! They’re on!

(On stage, CHRISTOFF performs a series of classic magic tricks with PEPPER as his glamorous assistant, all set to music.)

A MAGICAL SURPRISE

CHRISTOFF

I DON’T EXPECT THINGS TO BE PERFECT

BUT I KNOW WHAT MAGIC CAN DO

IT’S A DIFFERENT WAY TO SEE THINGS

THAT DON’T MAKE SENSE TO ME AND YOU

THEN MAGIC WILL DO

SOMETHING THAT WILL STARTLE YOU

LOOK FOR A MAGICAL SURPRISE

WHEN IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE

AND CAN’T FIND THE STRENGTH TO TRY

IT’S AGAINST THE ODDS

WHAT MONEY CAN BUY

WHEN NOTHING’S LEFT TO DO BUT QUESTION WHY

LOOK FOR A MAGICAL SURPRISE

WHEN YOU’RE UP AGAINST A WALL

AND YOU BARELY SEE WHAT’S GOING ON

YOU WANT A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW

SOMETHING THAT'S NOT HURTING YOU

MAGIC WILL DO THE UNREAL

IT’LL CHANGE THE WAY YOU FEEL

CHRISTOFF, PEPPER, ENSEMBLE

LOOK FOR A MAGICAL SURPRISE

WHEN IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE

AND CAN’T FIND THE STRENGTH TO TRY

YOU’RE AGAINST THE ODDS

WHAT MONEY CAN BUY

WHEN NOTHING’S LEFT TO DO BUT QUESTION WHY

LOOK FOR A MAGICAL SURPRISE

CHRISTOFF, PEPPER, ENSEMBLE

LOOK FOR A MAGICAL SURPRISE

WHEN IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE

AND CAN’T FIND THE STRENGTH TO TRY

YOU’RE AGAINST THE ODDS

WHAT MONEY CAN BUY

WHEN NOTHING’S LEFT TO DO BUT QUESTION WHY

LOOK FOR A MAGICAL SURPRISE

(Backstage, BENNY waits in the wings, talking to the puppet on his hand.)

BENNY

Seriously, Potts. How did you get in that trunk?

POTTS

Like the dame said, kid. It’s a magical night.

BENNY

I can’t believe this. We’re about to perform at the Palace. This is everything.

POTTS

Of course I’m gonna be great. When am I not?

BENNY

Okay, remember the rules. It’s 1924. No talk of the future. No spoilers about who wins the World Series. Got it? Break a leg, Potts.

POTTS

You too, pal. Don’t bomb.

(Benny walks on stage to a smattering of applause and sits at a piano.)

BENNY

Evening, folks! Say, have any of you fellas ever found yourselves sleeping in the doghouse?

POTTS

Speak for yourself, pal. "Dog" is so pedestrian. Tell ‘em what I am. This is the early 1900s, right?

BENNY

Correct. 1924.

POTTS

So these lovely people might not even know what a schnauzer is!

BENNY

(To the audience) He’s a schnauzer. A rare breed.

POTTS

For now! Give it a few decades, we’ll be bigger than sliced bread! Which, come to think of it, hasn’t been invented yet. You’re welcome.

BENNY

He’s got an attitude. Most of ‘em are still in Germany.

POTTS

Had to take a boat all the way over. A stinky, slow boat. I would’ve much preferred to fly.

BENNY

There are no commercial flights across the Atlantic yet, Potts.

POTTS

Shoulda just called up Amelia Earhart. She’d have given me a lift.

(Benny glaring at Potts.)

POTTS

Oh, is she not a thing yet? Whoops. Well, let me tell you about this thing called AI....

BENNY

Potts! One more word and you’re going in the doghouse for real!

POTTS

Oops! (Lets out a long, loud howl.)

(Men’s ensemble steps out and participates in a song around a doghouse.)

THE DOGHOUSE

BENNY

MY DOG DOESN’T WANT TO BE IN THE DOGHOUSE

HE’D RATHER BE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH

IF I’M NOT CAREFUL I’LL BE SLEEPING WITH HIM

I DON’T WANT TO BE IN THE DOGHOUSE

BENNY AND MEN’S QUARTET

THE DOGHOUSE

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

I DON’T WANT TO GO

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

TO THE DOGHOUSE

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

NO NO NO

THE DOGHOUSE

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

I DON’T WANT TO GO

TO THE DOGHOUSE

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

NO NO NO

BENNY

I’M LUCKY NOT TO BE IN THE DOGHOUSE

SO I’M TRYING TO DO MY BEST

BENNY AND MEN’S QUARTET

THE DOGHOUSE

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

I DON’T WANT TO GO

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

TO THE DOGHOUSE

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

NO NO NO

THE DOGHOUSE

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

I DON’T WANT TO GO

TO THE DOGHOUSE

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

NO NO NO

THE DOGHOUSE

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

I DON’T WANT TO GO

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

TO THE DOGHOUSE

(RUFF, RUFF, RUFF)

NO NO NO

(RUFF, RUFF)

(Benny’s act finishes. The audience goes wild, giving him a standing ovation. He runs off stage, beaming, right into Pepper.)

PEPPER

Benny, they loved you! You were a smash!

(In their shared excitement, they hug, and it turns into a passionate kiss.)

PEPPER

(A little breathless) Oh! Gosh.

BENNY

Pepper… when I thought you were gone… I can’t even tell you. It was the worst feeling in the world.

PEPPER

Really, Benny?

BENNY

I love you, Pep. I know I’m a mess, but I really do. It’s always been true. I was just… scared you’d get tired of me and leave.

PEPPER

Benny, I am not your mother. Is that what this is about? Your mom loved you. Her leaving was her stuff, not yours. And I’m not going anywhere.

BENNY

I just didn’t want to drag you through my chaos.

PEPPER

Have you met me? I thrive in chaos! Boring is my kryptonite. You, Benny, are the least boring thing in my life.

(He smiles, and this time, they kiss for real. Pepper pulls back, looking around.)

PEPPER

Come on. Let’s get out of here. You have got to see New York City in 1924. It’s like walking right into The Great Gatsby.

(They begin to exit, hand in hand while singing.)

INTO THE WATER - REPRISE

BENNY AND PEPPER

ALL ALONE WE WANTED SOMEONE TO CARE

WHERE THE RIVERS JOIN THE PERFECT PAIR

WHAT IF WE BOTH JUMP INTO THE WATER

WHERE THE CURRENT’S UNKNOWN

WILL WE FLOAT TOGETHER OR JUST DRIFT ALONE.

(Slow fade to black.)

(Short Ragtime Piano version of “INTO THE WATER”)

Setting: The empty stage of the Palace Theater. A single, bare-bulbed ghost light casts long shadows across the space.

At Rise: They’re not hungover, but drunk on the energy of the night before, walking and twirling onto the stage.

BENNY

Last night was the best!

PEPPER

I’m not tired, even though we didn’t get any sleep.

BENNY

Christoff told us to be here at 7:00 AM sharp.

PEPPER

I think they were going to work all night. So they’re probably in the prop closet right now. I’m not going to go bother them. They’ll come out when they’re ready.

(They jump up on large stage blocks, feet dangling.)

BENNY

My heart is still beating in time with the applause. I’ve never felt anything like it. Being up here… and then looking over and seeing your face… Pepper, that was real. That was everything.

PEPPER

How could I possibly go back after that? To see you come alive like that… It was the easiest choice I’ve ever made. I’m definitely staying.

BENNY

(A breathless laugh) I can’t believe it. We’re really doing this. Starting a life here… in the Roaring Twenties!

PEPPER

You should have seen yourself last night, just walking down the street after the show. Your face was… pure magic. Like a kid who’d just been told the whole world was his.

BENNY

That’s exactly what it felt like! And it is, Pepper. It’s ours! Next month, we get to see the very first Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade! And we’re gonna get our own cute little Model T! They’re only three hundred bucks, you know! I can make that in a month here! A month! Back at Howlin' Harmonies, that was a year of my life.

PEPPER

You’re going to be a star, Benny. I know it.

BENNY

(A playful, nervous look) You’re not just sticking around for the fame and fortune, are you?

PEPPER

Honey, if you flop, I’m on the first train back to the future.

BENNY

(He pulls her close) This is it. Vaudeville, this city, this moment. It’s like the universe knew. Like that comedian didn’t just have an accident, he was making room for me. For us. It doesn’t feel real. Go on, pinch me.

PEPPER

(She pinches his arm gently) My pleasure. It doesn’t feel real to me, either. But… it feels more right than home ever did. A hippie in 2024? I think I was always living in the wrong time.

BENNY

See? We’re a matched set. A couple of lost souls who found their way. This isn’t just a dream, it’s destiny. Pepper, when you were gone… I didn’t know how I was going to get through it. I’m so glad I found you.

(He takes her hand, his thumb tracing circles on her palm.)

PEPPER

Oh, Benny.

(She leans her head on his shoulder.)

PEPPER

We’re going to have a good life here. A real one. No more… noise that makes it impossible to hear yourself think.

BENNY

You’re telling me. I’ll never have to come up with another excuse for not being on Instagram!

PEPPER

Of course… we’d have to get married. We couldn't just… you know. And maybe… maybe we’d have kids someday, and you could drive us all around in that cute little toy model T car of yours… Oh, God. I’m getting way ahead of myself, aren’t I?

BENNY

(He turns to her, his eyes shining.) No. Hey. Not at all. I love it. You’d be my wife… We could have anything we want. And you wouldn’t have to work.

PEPPER

Well… I don’t know about the “not working” part. I just know I want to be here. With you. For all of it.

BENNY

Anything you want. I just mean… it will be easier.

PEPPER

Maybe I’ll get a job at Macy’s. Start a quiet revolution to get women to wear pants.

BENNY

(He kisses her forehead.) I’m so happy you’re staying. I was terrified you’d try to send me back.

PEPPER

Are you kidding? I was terrified you were going to try to push me into the time machine.

BENNY

Never

PEPPER

Benny. This is your destiny.

BENNY

(After a thoughtful silence.) But is it yours?

PEPPER

(Pauses, her answer is soft and true.) This wasn’t my dream. But YOU ARE.

BENNY

Pepper… it’s not too late to change your mind.

(He kisses her, a mix of desperate relief and deep affection. He cups her face, she kisses his hands. They hold each other tight.)

WILL IT BE LOVE

BENNY

WHAT CAN I SAY, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU

BUT WANT WHAT’S BEST, BEST FOR YOU TO DO

PEPPER

STOP THE SHAME

THAT’S WHAT I WANT TOO

TOGETHER

WE TAUGHT EACH OTHER HOW TO LOVE

HOW COULD WE LET EACH OTHER DOWN

I DO LOVE YOU,

BUT WE’RE ON SHAKY GROUND

WILL IT BE LOVE

THAT KEEPS US FOREVER

WILL WE SAY GOODBYE

BUT WISH WE WERE TOGETHER

BENNY

HOW COULD I LIVE - WITHOUT YOU IN MY WORLD

PEPPER

FOREVER THOUGHT - I’D BE YOUR SPECIAL GIRL

BENNY

WHAT SHOULD I DO

TOGETHER

HOW DO I LIVE WITHOUT YOU

WE TAUGHT EACH OTHER HOW TO LOVE

HOW COULD WE LET EACH OTHER DOWN

I DO LOVE YOU,

BUT WE’RE ON SHAKY GROUND

WILL IT BE LOVE

THAT KEEPS US FOREVER

WILL WE SAY GOODBYE

BUT WISH WE WERE TOGETHER

WILL IT BE LOVE

THAT KEEPS US FOREVER

WILL WE SAY GOODBYE

BUT WISH WE WERE TOGETHER

BENNY

WILL IT BE LOVE

THAT KEEPS US FOREVER

WILL WE SAY GOODBYE

BUT WISH WE WERE TOGETHER

(Christoff and Austin enters from off stage.)

CHRISTOFF

Kids! There you are! Perfect timing!

(CHRISTOFF and AUSTIN wheel out the time chamber. It’s a glorious, ramshackle mess of pipes, gauges, and that feather boa, which is now wrapped precariously around a crucial-looking lever.)

BENNY

Wow. You actually did it. It’s… a masterpiece. In a ‘steampunk garage sale’ kind of way.

CHRISTOFF

We’ve been here all night long. This kid is a certified genius! I was trying to use a tuba as the main power conduit. He just pieced it together like it was nothing. Couldn’t have done it without him. Now, c’mon, we need your help with the final touches. Attach these gewgaws to those thingamajigs, just so.

(Christoff demonstrates. They all start tinkering.)

CHRISTOFF

After this, I am dismantling the chamber in my living room and never messing with the space-time continuum again. It will only be a magic trick.

AUSTIN

Good call.

CHRISTOFF

I want you all to promise me the same. Promise you'll leave the timeline alone.

(They all murmur in agreement.)

AUSTIN

I just wish I could take Rachel with me.

CHRISTOFF

(Horrified) Are you insane?! You can’t abduct someone from the past! That's how you get butterfly apocalypse ! Or something!

PEPPER

Okay, now I’m officially terrified.

BENNY

We’re going to be okay, Pepper.

CHRISTOFF

We don’t have much time! The janitor will be getting here a later this morning and he doesn’t stand for shenanigans!

(They continue working as they sing.)

A GOOD YEAR-REPRISE

TOGETHER

BROTHER AND SISTER TAKE MY HAND

NOW I UNDERSTAND

ALL WE HAVE IS HERE TODAY

DIFFERENT COLORS IN THE SAND

COURAGE TO TAKE A STAND

THE BEAUTY OF LOVE IS THE ONLY WAY

AUSTIN

I THINK IT’S GONNA BE A GOOD YEAR

BENNY

NO, I KNOW… IT’S GONNA BE A GREAT YEAR

BENNY, PEPPER, AUSTIN

IT’S GONNA BE, IT’S GONNA BE

IT’S GONNA BEA GREAT YEAR

CHRISTOFF

Okay! We just pop these last few doodads in place and we are ready for liftoff! (He attaches a couple more random items with a flourish.)

AUSTIN

Wait. Hang on. I’m not sure I’m ready.

BENNY

What do you mean?

AUSTIN

I want to see Rachel again. Just once. Hell, I want to pack her in my suitcase and never let her go.

PEPPER

That is illegally sweet.

CHRISTOFF

We can’t take anyone who wasn’t born in the 21st century!

AUSTIN

You don’t need to worry about me doctor. This isn’t my world.

PEPPER

Guys. There's something you need to know. Benny and I… we’re staying.

CHRISTOFF

Absolutely not. No way. We are all going back together.

AUSTIN

Pepper, have you lost your mind? You can't stay here!

PEPPER

What about him? You’re not worried about Benny?

AUSTIN

Benny, this is your dream. I get it. But you can’t ask her to give up her entire life for it. That’s not fair, it’s selfish.

PEPPER

He didn’t ask. I chose.

CHRISTOFF

Kids, please! My blood pressure! This is all my fault!

BENNY

It’s no one’s fault. But he’s right. I want you to have a real life, Pepper. A normal one. And I don’t know if I can give you that here.

PEPPER

Benny, what are you saying? Are you trying to ship me back to the future like a piece of Samsonite luggage?

BENNY

What if… what if we don’t work out? Then you’d be stuck. Alone. A hundred years from home.

PEPPER

(Her voice cracking) BENNY! Why are you doing this?

AUSTIN

This is insane! (To Pepper) You can’t throw away your whole future. (To Benny) And you shouldn’t either!

BENNY

Shouldn’t, Austin? Really? You know what? Maybe I am being selfish. But for the first time in my life, I fit. Back home, I was a novelty act. An echo. Here… my act “breathes”. I finally have a chance to be myself, and I am not giving that up.

CHRISTOFF

It’s too dangerous! The paradoxes! The lack of modern medicine!

BENNY

I’m not going back!

PEPPER

And I’m not leaving him!

AUSTIN

(His voice rising with frustration) I can’t believe you, Benny. I’ll never forgive you for this. Pepper, just because he wants to live in a fantasy world of talking dogs and whatever, it doesn’t mean you have to disappear with him!

PEPPER

Wherever he is, that’s where I belong.

CHRISTOFF

But sweetheart. What about your family? Your friends? (Swallows hard) And Me? Pepper, please. Listen to me. I feel responsible. I would never forgive myself if you didn’t go home. And please, talk some sense into him.

PEPPER

I can’t. This is what we both want. And Austin, think of it this way… at least you won’t have to deal with Potts anymore.

CHRISTOFF

(Glancing nervously toward the wings) We’re out of time. If you’re coming, you need to get in the chamber. Now.

(Pepper looks from Benny to Austin, her face a mask of conflict. She takes a slow step toward the chamber, as if she’s going. But then she turns and throws her arms around Christoff in a fierce, final hug. She pulls away and walks to Benny, her eyes searching his. She hugs him desperately, her face, full of anguish, visible to the audience. When they pull back, he sees the decision written there.)

BENNY

(A question and a statement together) You’re not staying, are you?

(Pepper shakes her head no, tears welling in her eyes.)

PEPPER

I love you Benny.

BENNY

I love you, too. I always have.

PEPPER

This is your dream, Benny. (She glances at Christoff) I have to go home.

CHRISTOFF

(Pleading subtly with Benny) Son?

(Benny just shakes his head, unable to speak.)

CHRISTOFF

(His voice heavy) Okay then. Let's get this over with. Pepper, Austin, you’re up first since it only holds two. Let’s just pray this thing doesn’t send you to the 1800’s.

(Pepper and Austin step closer toward the time chamber with Austin leading the way. Just before they step in Austin turns one last time to Benny.)

AUSTIN

Take care of yourself. Follow your star Benny.(Acts like throwing a star similar to a baseball to Benny.)

(Benny holds up his hand as if catching the imaginary star.)

POTTS

(In a voice like Potts with arm lifted up) I will. I’m gonna miss you.

(Austin enters chamber first. Pepper stops and turns one last time to Benny. They lock eyes for a few moments with a passionate exchange. Nothing spoken. She turns back and enters the time chamber. Benny rushes over and gives Pepper one last, desperate kiss. CHRISTOFF closes the heavy door and throws a ridiculously large switch. The chamber hums, shakes, and flashes with chaotic lights.)

(The noise stops. BENNY walks to CHRISTOFF and hands him a sealed envelope.)

BENNY

Will you give this to her?

CHRISTOFF

Of course. Last chance, kid. You know the deal. You have to smash this thing to bits once I’m gone. No one can ever find it.

BENNY

I’ll never forget you, Uncle Chris. Thank you. For everything. And take good care of Pepper.

(CHRISTOFF opens the chamber door to reveal it's empty. He gives BENNY a sad, small wave, steps inside, and closes the door. The light show and noise happen again. The moment it stops, BENNY rushes to the door, throws it open, and finds it empty. He stares into the void for a moment. Then turns and looks around and sings.)

A GOOD YEAR- 2nd REPRISE

BENNY

I THINK IT’S GONNA BE A GOOD YEAR

NO, I KNOW IT’S GONNA BE A GOOD YEAR

NO SECOND-GUESSING AND WONDERING

WHEN WILL I APPEAR?

I THINK IT’S GONNA BE A GOOD YEAR

NO, I KNOW IT’S GONNA BE A GOOD YEAR

(Blackout)

Setting: Uncle Christoff’s living room, 2024. It’s a bit of a mess.

At Rise: The time chamber shudders and spits PEPPER and AUSTIN onto the floor. They land in a heap.

PEPPER

Whoa! It looks like we made it Austin.

AUSTIN

(Untangling his limbs from Pepper’s) Are you okay? You look like you’ve just been through a blender.

PEPPER

(Pushing herself up) Yeah, emotionally pureed. And I think my heart has been split in two.

AUSTIN

This time travel stuff really takes a toll on the body.

PEPPER

I can’t believe we left Benny behind. It feels like a bad dream.

AUSTIN

Well meeting Rachel was like the best dream I’ve ever had.

PEPPER

Where’s Uncle Christoff?

AUSTIN

Beats me. I set the coordinates so we’d all pop out holding hands and singing Kumbaya. He should be right here. (He pats an empty spot on the floor.)

PEPPER

Oh god, what if he landed in a volcano? Or the middle of a Justin Bieber concert in 2011? I’m not sure which is worse.

AUSTIN

Hang on. Something’s different.

(He wanders over to Christoff’s desk, which is now covered in empty pudding cups.)

He’s definitely been here. And apparently developed a serious pudding addiction. What’s this?

(Austin picks up a yellowed newspaper clipping.)

This is from 1924.

PEPPER

(Rushing over) Let me see! Oh my god, it’s Benny! Look at that headline! “A Riot of Felt and Fury: Vaudeville’s Newest Darlings, Benny and Potts! At the Palace Theater, you’re not just in the audience—you’re part of the family, especially when you’re singing along with Benny.”

(Suddenly, UNCLE CHRISTOFF bursts into the room from the kitchen. He’s wearing a stained bathrobe, fuzzy slippers, and holding a spatula like a weapon.)

CHRISTOFF

They live! I was so worried!

PEPPER

Worried? Uncle C, we literally just left.

CHRISTOFF

You JUST left? I’ve been here since Tuesday! I watched the entire series of “Murder, She Wrote” and I’ve developed a theory that Jessica Fletcher is the actual killer in every episode. It’s the only thing that makes sense!

AUSTIN

That’s… not possible. We left before you. I triple-checked the temporal mechanics.

CHRISTOFF

Well that’s it. I’m pulling the plug. From now on, this thing is a steampunk coat rack and nothing more. My nerves are shot. My pudding supply is gone.

PEPPER

What if Benny wants to come back?

CHRISTOFF

It’s over.

AUSTIN

Where’d you find this article about Benny?

CHRISTOFF

I had to get out of the house yesterday before I started talking to the furniture. I went to that antique shop that smells like mothballs and shattered dreams. And look! It says he gets standing ovations! Calls him a comedic genius!

AUSTIN

Wow. I wonder how Rachel’s doing…

PEPPER

She thought you were the cat’s meow, Austin.

CHRISTOFF

(Waving his spatula at them) Alright, you two. Post-temporal-jump psych evaluation. Who is the current president and what did you have for breakfast?

AUSTIN

Yeah, we’re fine. A broken heart’s not fatal, right?

PEPPER

Are you sure? I’m pretty sure mine is trying to crawl out through my ribcage.

CHRISTOFF

Well, I’m just glad everyone’s back in one piece, more or less. And Benny’s a star! How about that?

PEPPER

(Avoiding his comment) Hey, Uncle C… is it cool if I crash on the couch tonight? The thought of being alone in my apartment right now is… a lot.

CHRISTOFF

Absolutely, young lady. Make yourself at home.

AUSTIN

Well, I guess I should get going. My mom’s probably organized a search party by now.

(AUSTIN hugs PEPPER, then just… keeps hugging her. He gives a few awkward pats on her back. It goes on for a beat too long. CHRISTOFF raises an eyebrow.)

AUSTIN

I’ll, uh, call you tomorrow.

(He hugs her AGAIN, a quick, panicked one this time, then practically flees out the door.)

PEPPER

(Pepper sinks onto the couch.) Thanks. I’ll just sleep here. I want to fall asleep looking at the Travel Chamber… so I can dream about Benny.

CHRISTOFF

Speaking of which… he gave me this for you.

PEPPER

(Her eyes go wide) A letter? From Benny?

CHRISTOFF

You’ve got some wonderful friends, kiddo. The best friend I ever had was a goldfish I won at the fair. He lasted a whole weekend. I guess I never really gave myself a chance to… you know. Good night, sweetheart.

(CHRISTOFF exits to his bedroom. PEPPER lies on the couch, staring at the time chamber. She slowly opens the letter. Music begins. The lights fade, leaving a single spotlight on PEPPER. A bed with BENNY in it rolls onto the other side of the stage. A second spotlight hits him. It is now a split scene: BENNY singing in his bed in 1924, and PEPPER singing on the couch in 2024.)

THEN I DREAMED OF YOU

PEPPER

HAVE YOU EVER DREAMED OF SOMEONE

LIKE ME? I DID TOO

THAT WAS ME DREAMING OF YOU

I DON’T BELIEVE IN DÉJÀ VU

BUT I SWEAR I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN YOU

THAT WAS ME DREAMING OF YOU

AFTER SO MANY NIGHTMARES

I DIDN’T WANT TO DREAM AGAIN

THEN I DREAMED OF YOU

MY NIGHTMARES TURNED TO FANTASY

WHEN THEY BECAME ‘BOUT YOU AND ME

WHEN I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU

BENNY

HAVE YOUR DREAMS EVER COME TRUE?

HARD TO BELIEVE BUT YOU CAME THROUGH

I COULDN’T STOP DREAMING OF YOU

DIDN’T WANT TO WISH FOR YOU

YOU SEEMED TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE

I COULDN’T STOP DREAMING OF YOU

BENNY AND PEPPER

AFTER SO MANY NIGHTMARES

I DIDN’T WANT TO DREAM AGAIN

THEN I DREAMED OF YOU

MY NIGHTMARES TURNED TO FANTASY

WHEN THEY BECAME ‘BOUT YOU AND ME

WHEN I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU

DREAMING OF YOU, DREAMING OF YOU

DREAMING OF YOU, DREAMING OF YOU

DREAMING OF YOU, DREAMING OF YOU

DREAMING OF YOU, DREAMING OF YOU

DREAMING OF YOU, OH

AFTER SO MANY NIGHTMARES

I DIDN’T WANT TO DREAM AGAIN

THEN I DREAMED OF YOU

MY NIGHTMARES TURNED TO FANTASY

WHEN THEY BECAME ‘BOUT YOU AND ME

WHEN I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU

DREAMING OF YOU, OH

(Blackout)

Setting: Uncle Christoff’s living room, which looks like a tornado hit an antique shop.

At Rise: A few days later. Austin and Pepper are sitting on Christoff’s couch that has seen better days.

AUSTIN

So, how’s the patient? Is Doctor Christoff still trying to patent a self-ironing iron?

PEPPER

He’s moved on. This morning he swore he invented toast. He held a slice in the air like a Nobel Prize. Then burst into tears because someone had already stolen his idea and called it breakfast. But his memory’s definitely less… time traveled. That was a close one.

AUSTIN

You’re telling me. This whole time-travel thing is one hell of a hangover. My brain still feels fuzzy.

PEPPER

I heard they’re having a nightmare replacing Benny over at Howlin’ Harmonies. Apparently, they’ve already gone through three Benny wannabes and a guy who only played a kazoo.

AUSTIN

Yeah, a few people have asked if I’ve seen him. It’s hard to just shrug and say, “Oh, you know Benny, probably just… a hundred years in the past.”

PEPPER

I know. I still expect him to walk through that door, covered in soot, complaining about Prohibition.

AUSTIN

I think about him and Potts… but, uh… speaking of… vacancies… Now that Benny’s… not in the picture… I was wondering if maybe… a spot has opened up? In the… you know. For us?

PEPPER

(A long, painful pause.) Oh, Austin… Of course there’s a spot. You’re not like a brother to me. You are my brother. My non-biological, different-parents, totally-platonic-but-still-I’d-help-you-hide-a-body brother.

AUSTIN

(Slumping into the couch cushions.) Right. The hide-a-body zone. I’ve been trying to get out of that zip code for years. But Benny was always there, building a fence.

PEPPER

I’m sorry. I think a big piece of my heart is still stuck in a speakeasy in 1924.

AUSTIN

And I’ll never find a girl who can Charleston and understand physics. The total package.

PEPPER

Hey, don’t forget Rachel! The way you looked at her… it was like you’d just discovered music. Or cheese. Maybe there’s another cheese-discovering girl out there for you.

AUSTIN

Yeah, I really did fall for her. Hard.

PEPPER

See? We’re a mess. We both need to move on, but my brain’s GPS is fried. What are we supposed to do now?

AUSTIN

I don’t know… Sit here until your uncle reinvents the wheel? (Thinking) Or… maybe we do a show?

PEPPER

A show? Like, with singing and dancing and telling people we’re not crazy?

AUSTIN

Exactly! We could do our own vaudeville revue! We’ve got you and Uncle Chris—the world’s weirdest magic act.

PEPPER

And you could do your tap routine!

AUSTIN

I’d just need a partner who doesn’t see me as an immediate family member.

PEPPER

I bet we could find some other acts. Uncle Chris must know people. Probably a guy who can juggle flaming chickens or something.

AUSTIN

(Chuckles.)Well, one thing's for sure. We’d know how to make it feel authentic.

PEPPER

We could even try to book the old Palace Theater downtown!

AUSTIN

Are you kidding? We’d have to sell a kidney. Each.

PEPPER

Oh. Right.

AUSTIN

Wait! Wait a minute. My Great-Grandma Sylvie. She left me what she called her “gin and trouble” fund. She’d be thrilled if we blew it all on something this ridiculous.

PEPPER

You’re serious?

AUSTIN

Absolutely! She was born in 1904. She would’ve been twenty in 1924! It’s a shame we didn’t bump into her back then. Of course, she wouldn’t have been my grandma yet, just some flapper…

PEPPER

And you would’ve fallen hopelessly in love with her!

AUSTIN

(His face twists in horror.) Whoa. Okay, stop. I’m gonna need a minute to scrub that thought out of my brain with industrial-grade soap. That is a paradox I do not want to solve.

PEPPER

(Laughing.)Okay, okay! But we could do the show in her honor. A tribute to her and… to Benny.

AUSTIN

You’d have to do the Vaudeville Time Travel Chamber. But, you know… as a trick. A heavily supervised, completely fake trick.

PEPPER

Don’t worry. Uncle Christoff’s already rewired it. Now it just makes really good toast.

AUSTIN

Perfect. Think he’s got any contacts for those flaming chicken jugglers?

PEPPER

I’ll ask him as soon as he gets home. He’s going to flip. He’ll probably try to build a robot orchestra.

AUSTIN

And I’ll see what it takes to rent out the Palace.

PEPPER

But Austin, what if we lose all that money?

AUSTIN

Who cares? It’s Great-Grandma Sylvie’s “gin and trouble” fund! This is exactly what it’s for! It’s about doing something we love. Something fun and completely insane.

(Austin heads for the door, a new energy in his step.)

PEPPER

(Shouting after him.) Sounds like a plan… partner!

(Blackout.)

(“A Good Year” music swells, upbeat and jazzy.)

Setting: The empty stage of the Palace Theater, 2024. It’s littered with the organized chaos of rehearsal—a stray costume rack, a couple of folding chairs, and a couple sandbags.

At Rise: Austin and Pepper are on stage. Pepper is spinning slowly in the center spotlight, arms outstretched.

PEPPER

You feel that? It’s like the ghost of vaudeville past just tickled my spine. I swear I can smell stale popcorn and desperation. Sometimes I wonder if Benny’s just… on the other side of the curtain. In 1924. Waving. You know?

AUSTIN

(Kicking at a loose floorboard.) That’s just dust, Pep. And my desperation. We need a dancer, like, yesterday. Besides, if Benny were here, he’d have probably tripped over that sandbag by now.

PEPPER

All this research is getting to me. I tried on a flapper dress and now I’m ready to protest Prohibition and dance the Charleston till midnight. Honestly, Austin, I was born in the wrong century—an old soul with no patience for social media.

(A young woman enters stage left, looking around uncertainly. She is the spitting image of the Rachel from 1924. Austin, mid- sentence, stops. His jaw goes slack. He takes a step back, trips over the aforementioned sandbag, and nearly face-plants, catching himself on the costume rack, sending a sequined dress shivering.)

AUSTIN

Woah—!

(Pepper just stares, her mouth a perfect “O”.)

RACHEL

(Eyes wide) Uhhh… is this the dance audition? Or the stunt double workshop? Because if it's the second one, you’re a shoo-in.

(Austin straightens his shirt, trying desperately to regain some semblance of cool. He fails.)

AUSTIN

Uh. Yes. Here. It’s. The… uh… audition.

PEPPER

He’s Austin. He’s usually more articulate and less… gravity challenged. I’m Pepper.

AUSTIN

Austin. That’s me. I’m Austin.

RACHEL

(Smiling, amused) So… is the dance position still open? Or did the floor get it?

AUSTIN

Ya… Yes! Very much open. Wide open. Please, yea please dance.

RACHEL

A vaudeville show. Sounds like a blast.

AUSTIN

Oh really? It is the best blast! I am… extremely glad you’re here.

RACHEL

(A little taken aback by his intensity) You are? Okay. Thanks.

PEPPER

You know, you have the perfect… look for this. I’ll let you two get to it. I’ve suddenly got a ton of… sequins… to count. Backstage. Far away. But not too far.

(Pepper scurries off, giving Austin a wild look over her shoulder.)

AUSTIN

Okay! Dance! Right. So, the first part is… uh… it’s sort of a… jazzy… thing. With feet.

(He attempts a few moves. Without music, and with his brain clearly short-circuiting, it looks less like a dance and more like he’s trying to shake a hornet out of his pants.)

RACHEL

Oh, sweet! Like this?

(She mirrors his flailing but transforms it into a smooth, stylish, and perfectly executed Charleston-inspired sequence. She adds a little spin and a flourish at the end.)

AUSTIN

(Staring, dumbfounded)… Perfect. You’re perfect. You got the job.

RACHEL

Just like that? I haven't even broken a sweat. You, on the other hand…

AUSTIN

Yes. If you want it. Please want it.

RACHEL

Of course! My great grandma would be so proud. She was a dancer back in the day. Vaudeville, in the 1920s.

AUSTIN

(Leaning in) You’re kidding me.

RACHEL

Nope. I’m actually named after her.

AUSTIN

(Voice barely a whisper) Her name… was Rachel?

RACHEL

Yeah. And the wildest part? She always told me this story about a guy she danced with once.

AUSTIN

Let me guess—

RACHEL

You’ll never get it. His name was Austin, too. Can you believe it? He was the first Black man…

TOGETHER

…she ever danced with.

RACHEL

(Laughing) Whoa! How did you know that?

AUSTIN

Just a… just a lucky guess. A student of history, you know.

RACHEL

A pretty wild guess, right?

AUSTIN

Yeah. Incredibly wild. Did… did she ever say anything else about him?

RACHEL

Oh, um… just that he was unforgettable. Said he was the only partner she ever had who could learn an entire routine after seeing it just one time.

AUSTIN

What? No way… So they only performed together that one time?

RACHEL

That’s what she said. He just… vanished after the show.

AUSTIN

Does she know what happened?

RACHEL

She always worried something bad happened to him, you know, for dancing with her back then. She carried a lot of guilt about it, blamed herself.

AUSTIN

It wasn’t her fault! I mean… it sounds like he knew exactly what he was doing.

RACHEL

Well, it took a lot of courage.

AUSTIN

For both of them.

RACHEL

Totally. That’s why I have this.

(She pushes up her sleeve to show a small, delicate tattoo of a star on her wrist with tiny initials inside it.)

Her initials. To remind me to be brave. Even when my audition partner nearly knocks himself unconscious.

AUSTIN

(Smiling, lost in the moment) Sounds like the stars were really aligned the night they met.

RACHEL

I can’t believe you just said that. Great grandma taught me how to look to the moon and the stars for help. And now with you saying that and this vaudeville show and all, it makes me feel like she’s here.

AUSTIN

I wish she ways…I mean she probably is.

RACHEL

I don’t know how to explain this but, I feel like you know me. I mean you get me. It just feels so good!

AUSTIN

Ready to dance with me.

RACHEL

Nothing I’d rather do.

ASK THE STARS

AUSTIN

I CAN’T BELIEVE MY OWN EYES

FEELS LIKE I’VE KNOWN THIS GIRL FOR A WHILE

RACHEL

IF I ASK HIM HE MIGHT NOT KNOW

BUT HIS BEHAVIOR MAY BETTER SHOW

AUSTIN AND RACHEL

I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON I DON’T KNOW

AUSTIN

ASK THE STARS DOES SHE LOVE ME

RACHEL

ASK THE MOON DOES HE CARE

TOGETHER

ASK THE SUN DOES SHE/HE THINK OF ME

ASK THE CLOUDS DOES SHE/HE WANT ME THERE

THEY SEE SO MUCH MORE THAN ME

(PEPPER approaches but stays out of sight watching with Envy that it’s not her and Benny.)

AUSTIN

THIS GIRL HAS THE SAME NAME

AND SHE LOOKS AND FEELS JUST THE SAME

I NEED TO LOOK TO THE SKY FOR HELP

TOGETHER

CUZ I’LL NEVER ASK MYSELF

RACHEL

ASK THE STARS DOES HE LOVE ME

AUSTIN

ASK THE MOON DOES SHE CARE

TOGETHER

ASK THE SUN DOES SHE/HE THINK OF ME

ASK THE CLOUDS DOES SHE/HE WANT ME THERE

THEY SEE SO MUCH MORE THAN ME

TOGETHER

ASK THE STARS DOES SHE/HE LOVE ME

ASK THE MOON DOES SHE/HE CARE

ASK THE SUN DOE SHE/HE THINK OF ME

ASK THE CLOUDS WILL SHE/HE WANT ME THERE

TOGETHER

ASK THE STARS DOES SHE/HE LOVE ME

ASK THE MOON DOES SHE/HE CARE

ASK THE SUN DOE SHE/HE THINK OF ME

ASK THE CLOUDS WILL SHE/HE WANT ME THERE

THEY SEE SO MUCH MORE THAN ME

AUSTIN

Wow. Okay. That was… nicely done. Uh. Are you a person who eats food? Because I know a place. With food. For eating.

RACHEL

(Laughing)I do enjoy the consumption of sustenance, yes.

AUSTIN

Great! I’d love to hear more stories about your great grandma…

RACHEL

I hear I look a lot like her when she was my age.

AUSTIN

(Quickly) I wouldn’t know! I’m sure you do. Can you meet me back here at six? Is it a date?

RACHEL

It’s a date. And thank you!

(She exits with a little wave.)

(Austin collapses onto a chair, running his hands through his hair in disbelief. Pepper peeks out from behind the curtain, then scurries back on stage.)

PEPPER

(In a loud stage whisper) Okay, is she a ghost? A clone? A time-traveling doppelgänger sent to test the limits of our sanity? Because that was FREAKY.

AUSTIN

Right?! And for the record, she’s not a ghost. She’s… gone for now.

PEPPER

She has to be related! My brain is doing cartwheels right now. I’m kinda freaking out.

AUSTIN

Join the club.

(He looks up at her, a horrifying thought dawning on his face.)

Oh, God. Pepper. I just had a terrible, terrible thought. You don’t think… she looks anything like Benny, do you?

PEPPER

(Recoiling in mock horror.) Don’t you put that evil on me, Austin! I will burn this theater to the ground!

AUSTIN

NAH! You're right. No way. But still… maybe I’ll ask about her great grandpa, just to be safe.

PEPPER

I’m not even touching that. But on a completely different note, I have a hunch you two are going to have insane chemistry on stage.

AUSTIN

Oh yeah. You know it.

PEPPER

Gosh… I remember that feeling. Seeing you two click like that… it just makes me miss Benny even more.

AUSTIN

It feels like 1924 just walked right through that door and tripped me.

PEPPER

You know, I really liked your Rachel. The first one. We only hung out for a couple of days, but I think we could’ve been great friends. Maybe I’d be happier back then. No social media, just newspapers and conversation. But still!

AUSTIN

Pep, don’t go down that rabbit hole. We can’t go back.

PEPPER

Austin… would you help me with something?

AUSTIN

Sure. As long as it doesn’t involve the time machine.

PEPPER

I want to go back to 1924. For good. I want to be with Benny.

AUSTIN

Absolutely not! No way! Your Uncle Chris dismantled the time chamber! It’s a very expensive coat rack now.

PEPPER

That’s why I need you. You’re the only one who can fix it.

AUSTIN

I can’t!

PEPPER

Yes you can.

AUSTIN

But I won’t! It’s wrong! We promised your uncle we wouldn’t mess with it.

PEPPER

Look how happy you are! You just met Rachel 2.0! Destiny just smacked you in the face with a sandbag! I know you get it. I want my destiny!

AUSTIN

Remember what the doctor said? The consequences? Creating a paradox that could, I don’t know, make it so that pizza was never invented? I can’t live in that world, Pepper, feeling responsible.

PEPPER

He won’t blame you. I’ll leave a note. “Dear Uncle Chris, I have gone to the 1920s to find love. Austin was an unwilling but very handsome accomplice.” See? You’re covered.

AUSTIN

It’s not about blame! It’s about… losing you! To the past! A past with a questionable outcome!

PEPPER

Austin, you have Rachel. A piece of the past came to you.

AUSTIN

(Lets out a huge, conflicted sigh) You’re making this difficult for me. Maybe you’re right, and time is a big loop-de-loop, but… Pep…

PEPPER

You’ve got to let me go find my loop. If you love me, do this for me.

(Pepper steps forward and wraps Austin in a tight hug. He hesitantly hugs her back, looking completely torn.)

(Blackout)

(The faint, jazzy melody of “Ask The Stars” plays as the scene changes)

SETTING: The stage is split. On the left is a sleek, modern vaudeville stage, set in 2024. On the right a well-worn counterpart from 1924. The two time periods exist at the same time but invisible to each other.

AT RISE: In 1924, BENNY and his ENSEMBLE are mid-song, performing a lively song-and-dance number in a vaudeville show. In 2024, AUSTIN and RACHEL are doing the same in current time along with CHRISTOFF and PEPPER who are performing their time-travel

magic act.

A PLACE IN TIME

BENNY

TIME GIVES YOU LIFE

MORE THAN HOURS IN A DAY

THE MIRACLE OF LIVING

WITH SURPRISES ALONG THE WAY

BENNY AND ENSEMBLE

IF YOUR DREAMS AREN’T COMING TRUE

THERE’S SOMETHING ELSE TO DO

LET TIME CHANGE YOUR JOURNEY

WHERE IT’S NOT JUST UP TO YOU

ENSEMBLE

EVERYBODY HAS A SPECIAL PLACE IN TIME

WHEN YOU FIND YOUR DREAM THEN YOUR SONG WILL RHYME

JUST ENJOY THE MUSIC MOVE YOUR BODY TO IT

STOMP YOUR FEET

BENNY FOUND HIS PLACE NOW HE’S IN HIS PRIME

DANCE AND CELEBRATE IT’S YOUR TIME

JUST ENJOY THE MUSIC MOVE YOUR BODY TO IT

STOMP YOUR FEET

BENNY AND ENSEMBLE

IF YOU FOLLOW YOUR HEART

IT WILL LEAD YOU WHERE TO GO

TIME WILL MULTIPLY YOUR LOVE

AND TIME WILL MAKE IT SHOW

LOVE CAN LAST FOREVER

NO MATTER FAR OR NEAR

NEVER LOSING HOPE

THAT’S WHEN LOVE APPEARS

EVERYBODY HAS A SPECIAL PLACE IN TIME

WHEN YOU FIND YOUR DREAM THEN YOUR SONG WILL RHYME

JUST ENJOY THE MUSIC MOVE YOUR BODY TO IT

STOMP YOUR FEET

BENNY FOUND HIS TIME NOW HE’S IN HIS PRIME

DANCE AND CELEBRATE IT’S YOUR TIME

JUST ENJOY THE MUSIC MOVE YOUR BODY TO IT

STOMP YOUR FEET

(During instrumental section Pepper gets into the Travel Chamber and gives Austin a small wave. Her partner, UNCLE CHRIS, closes the door with a flourish. The chamber shakes violently, lights flicker, and he throws the door open—Pepper has vanished. He closes it again, opens it to show her triumphant return, but the chamber is still empty. His showman’s smile falters into real shock. He closes the door again and re-opens it. He walks around the chamber and begins searching for her. She’s gone!)

ENSEMBLE

OH OH OH OH

ENSEMBLE

EVERYBODY HAS A SPECIAL PLACE IN TIME

WHEN YOU FIND YOUR DREAM THEN YOUR SONG WILL RHYME

BENNY

JUST ENJOY THE MUSIC MOVE YOUR BODY TO IT

STOMP YOUR FEET

ENSEMBLE

CELEBRATE,

BENNY

CELEBRATE,

ENSEMBLE

AAH AAH AAH CELEBRATE

(The dancers run off stage.)

(Blackout)

(Work lights come onto the stage as though some time has passed and the cast is heading home. Benny wanders into a tight follow spot which follows him onto the stage deep in thought and emotion. A voice comes from off stage.)

STAGE DIRECTOR

Good show tonight, Benny. Everyone’s gone home. See ya tomorrow.

BENNY

Thanks. Goodnight.

(Looking around. Thinking out loud as if speaking to Pepper.)

BENNY

Another great show. But it just feels empty without you Pepper.

(A clattering noise is heard from offstage on the 1924 side. The leg curtains wiggle as if some stage props have fallen. Then some loud tap shoes are heard stepping from off stage. A spotlight focuses on that area. With shock and awe Pepper walks onto the stage. They see each other. With hearts racing they run into each other’s arms lost in a passionate embrace. They pull back holding each other’s hands with arms outstretched and sing.)

IT WILL BE LOVE - REPRISE

BENNY AND PEPPER

IT WILL BE LOVE

THAT KEEPS US TOGETHER

NO MORE GOODBYES

IT WILL BE FOREVER

(Blackout)

(Curtain)

A GOOD YEAR - Curtain Call

(At the end of the bows the cast sings a short reprise to the audience wishing all “A Good Year”)

CAST

I THINK IT’S GONNA BE A GOOD YEAR.

NO, I KNOW IT’S GONNA BE A GREAT YEAR.

I KNOW IT’S GONNA BE,

YES, I KNOW IT’S GONNA BE A GREAT YEAR.

(END OF SHOW)